1Offer school again at ten, and at eleven, and after lunch. One refusal at half past seven should not be allowed to decide the whole day.
Morning dread usually peaks around the time they would be leaving and then drains away over a couple of hours. A child who could not face it at half past seven can often manage third period, and will almost never suggest that themselves. Keep the offer open, ask lightly, take no for an answer each time without a row, and mean it when you ask again.
Islamic evidence
My sons, go and seek news of Joseph and his brother and do not despair of God's mercy (Quran 12:87). Jacob sends them out again after years of nothing, which is roughly the patience this asks for.
“My sons, go and seek news of Joseph and his brother and do not despair of God’s mercy- only disbelievers despair of God’s mercy.’”
Qur'an 12:87
Psychological evidence
Reviews of exposure written from an inhibitory learning view argue that the work is done by finding out the expected disaster did not happen, and that this is only learned by going towards the thing. These are theoretical reviews assembling laboratory and clinical evidence, not trials of hourly offers. Read at that level, each fresh offer is another chance for the prediction to be tested rather than confirmed.
Craske MG, Treanor M, Conway CC, Zbozinek T, Vervliet B. (2014). Behaviour research and therapy · doi
Review detail
Why it works. The fear comes down as the morning goes on, so leaving the door open catches the hour when going in becomes possible.
Feedback
none yet2Before anyone does something exposing, let them check their own conditions and give them a clean way to say no. A public yes given under pressure is not really a yes.
It can be as ordinary as asking someone to consider whether they have the privacy, the time and the state of mind for this today. Ask it first and whoever declines has not failed in front of anybody. It costs a minute, and it is the difference between practice a person chose and something that happened to them.
Islamic evidence
Seek help with steadfastness and prayer, though this is hard indeed for anyone but the humble (Quran 2:45). The difficulty is stated openly, which is a good model for how to ask someone whether they are ready.
“Seek help with steadfastness and prayer- though this is hard indeed for anyone but the humble”
Qur'an 2:45
Psychological evidence
In 125 male veterans with post traumatic stress and anger difficulties, group anger management delivered by videoconference did as well as the same therapy given in person. The conditions of delivery clearly matter enough to be studied, and they can be got right. That trial compared formats rather than testing how people were prepared beforehand.
Leslie A. Morland; Carolyn J. Greene; Craig S. Rosen; David W. Foy; Patrick M. Reilly; Jay H. Shore (2010). The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry · doi
Review detail
Why it works. People can stay with something difficult when they know they are free to stop.