1Anger is the most physical of the feelings. It goes straight into the muscles, so talking yourself out of it while your arms are already ready to move is hard work.
This is why advice that stays in the head tends to slide off anger in particular. Something has to change in the body as well: the breath slowed, the shoulders dropped, the hands unclenched, the feet moved. Give the body a different job rather than arguing with it.
Islamic evidence
Remember when He gave you sleep as a reassurance from Him, and sent down water from the sky to cleanse you (Quran 8:11). Frightened people were settled with sleep and water, which are bodily things, before anything was explained to them.
“Remember when He gave you sleep as a reassurance from Him, and sent down water from the sky to cleanse you, to remove Satan’s pollution from you, to make your hearts strong and your feet firm”
Qur'an 8:11
Psychological evidence
In an exploratory study, deliberately raising heart rate variability through slow breathing dampened the autonomic response to an inflammatory challenge, which is evidence that breath reaches systems well below anything you can decide about. It was exploratory work with a small number of people, so it is a hint rather than a finding to lean on. It does support the general point that the body can be reached from the outside in.
Lehrer P, Karavidas MK, Lu SE, Coyle SM, Oikawa LO, Macor M, Calvano SE, Lowry SF. (2010). Applied psychophysiology and biofeedback · doi
Review detail
Why it works. The state is being held in the body, so changing what the body is doing changes the state.
Feedback
none yet2Anger has a shape you can learn: jaw tightening, breathing heavier, heat in the face, and often a strange busyness in the hands. Find your own two or three.
The hands are worth watching, because they tend to say something before you do. Fingers curling, a grip tightening on the steering wheel, a mug held harder than it needs to be. Once you know your own signs you get a warning that arrives ahead of the words, which is the only point at which anything can be done cheaply.
Islamic evidence
There truly are signs in this for those who can hear (Quran 30:23). Even sleep is offered as something worth attending to, so what your body does as anger rises is worth reading too.
“Among His signs are your sleep, by night and by day, and your seeking His bounty. There truly are signs in this for those who can hear”
Qur'an 30:23
Psychological evidence
In a randomised controlled trial, a mindfulness based stress reduction programme left people less troubled by difficulty in identifying and describing their feelings, and lowered their reports of hostile and aggressive expression, compared with a waiting list. Waitlist comparisons tend to flatter a treatment, so hold the size of it loosely. The link it points at is the useful part: getting better at reading your own state went along with less of it coming out sideways.
Robins CJ, Keng SL, Ekblad AG, Brantley JG. (2012). Journal of clinical psychology · doi
Review detail
Why it works. You can only work with anger you have noticed, and the body notices before you do.