1There was a moment when the urge came up and you watched it instead of acting. Notice that, mark the date if you can, because that is your proof it is possible.
People chasing this skill often think they have never managed it, when in fact they did it last Thursday in a car park and never counted it. Name the moment out loud: I felt it, I did not do it, I am still here. One clear instance is worth more than any amount of encouragement, because the next attempt gets built on it.
Islamic evidence
He would have succumbed to her if he had not seen evidence of his Lord (Quran 12:24). The interruption landed inside the moment, which is exactly the kind of moment worth remembering as a precedent.
“She made for him, and he would have succumbed to her if he had not seen evidence of his Lord- We did this in order to keep evil and indecency away from him, for he was truly one of Our chosen servants”
Qur'an 12:24
Psychological evidence
In a brain stimulation experiment, disrupting a region involved in holding back impulses increased both impulsive movement and retaliation after provocation, which supports the idea of a narrow window in which holding back is genuinely possible. When you did not act, you were using that capacity rather than getting lucky. It was a small laboratory study of one brain region, not a study of real restraint in real arguments.
Dambacher F, Sack AT, Lobbestael J, Arntz A, Brugman S, Schuhmann T. (2015). Social cognitive and affective neuroscience · doi
Review detail
Why it works. Having done it once, even by accident, is the strongest reason to believe you can do it again.