1There is a fair worry that punch shaped exercise simply practises the punch. The test is easy: if the angry story is still running in your head, it is rehearsal.
You can check mid set. Ask what you are actually attending to. Counting, the burn in your arms and the sound of your breathing are all signs the anger script has dropped out. Their face, their words, the reply you are drafting are signs it has not, and that is the moment to switch to something with no aggressive shape to it at all.
Islamic evidence
Bear everything they say with patience (Quran 50:39). Patience is put right beside the provocation, which is exactly where this check belongs.
“So [Prophet], bear everything they say with patience; celebrate the praise of your Lord before the rising and setting of the sun”
Qur'an 50:39
Psychological evidence
In a randomised comparison, a brief mindful breathing exercise increased people's sense of standing back from their own thoughts more than muscle relaxation or loving-kindness practice did, and reduced negative reactions to repetitive thinking. That supports the checking move itself. Whether exercise shaped like hitting feeds aggression is genuinely unsettled, and it is fair to hold it open.
Feldman G, Greeson J, Senville J. (2010). Behaviour research and therapy · doi
Review detail
Why it works. It is the rehearsed story, not the raised heart rate, that keeps anger alive.
Feedback
none yet2Instead of shutting your eyes, let your gaze go soft and wide: the sky, the far wall, the space above someone's shoulder. Keep them open and let the focus loosen.
Closing your eyes in front of someone reads as walking out of the conversation, and it often makes things worse. A soft open gaze breaks the lock without saying anything about them. You are still there, still facing them, but you are no longer staring down a tunnel, and the whole exchange usually drops a level within a few breaths.
Islamic evidence
It was He who made His tranquillity descend into the hearts of the believers (Quran 48:4). Calm is spoken of as something arriving from outside you, which fits a practice of opening up rather than gripping harder.
“It was He who made His tranquillity descend into the hearts of the believers, to add faith to their faith––the forces of the heavens and earth belong to God; He is all knowing and all wise––”
Qur'an 48:4
Psychological evidence
Gaze practices of this kind come from contemplative traditions rather than from trials. The nearest studied relative is tai chi, where a review found reduced stress, anxiety and depression and improved mood, while noting that most included trials were of low methodological quality. Slow contemplative practices look helpful in general; this particular use of the eyes has not been tested.
Wang C, Bannuru R, Ramel J, Kupelnick B, Scott T, Schmid CH. (2010). BMC complementary and alternative medicine · doi
Review detail
Why it works. Letting the eyes widen out takes away the fixed stare that both people were feeding.