1Some situations genuinely run on how you are seen. A job interview, a court hearing, a first meeting with in-laws: the image matters there, and it is honest to say so.
The claim is only that most of life is not one of those, and that the fear of disrespect is far larger than its actual cost. Keeping the exceptions in view protects the whole point. Any way of thinking that says it covers everything gets thrown out the first time it obviously does not.
Islamic evidence
Uphold justice and bear witness to God, even if it is against yourselves (Quran 4:135). Saying the part that weakens your own case is set as the standard rather than the exception.
“You who believe, uphold justice and bear witness to God, even if it is against yourselves, your parents, or your close relatives. Whether the person is rich or poor, God can best take care of both. Refrain from following your own desire, so that you can act…”
Qur'an 4:135
Psychological evidence
In two studies of American and British citizens, anger, guilt and shame about their country's actions predicted opposition to those actions, and a threat to the country's image changed which of those feelings dominated. Image threat is a real thing that shifts how people respond, at least at the level of a group. Those were survey and experimental studies about national identity, so carry them across to a job interview carefully.
Iyer A, Schmader T, Lickel B. (2007). Personality & social psychology bulletin · doi
Review detail
Why it works. A claim with honest limits is one you can still use when the limits turn up.
Feedback
none yet2Almost everyone says the same thing afterwards, that the waiting was worse than the thing itself. Say it out loud in your own words, because your own words land differently from anyone else's reassurance.
Before a difficult conversation, write one line about how bad you expect it to be. Afterwards, write one line about how it actually went. Over a few rounds you build a small record of your own predictions running too dark, and that record persuades you far better than being told not to worry.
Islamic evidence
We shall be sure to guide to Our ways those who strive hard for Our cause (Quran 29:69). The striving is met, which is a reason to go in rather than to keep circling the door.
“But We shall be sure to guide to Our ways those who strive hard for Our cause: God is with those who do good”
Qur'an 29:69
Psychological evidence
Work on how exposure practice helps found that neither the drop in fear within a session nor how calm someone felt at the end predicted how well they did later. What mattered was what got learned. So do not judge a hard conversation by how comfortable you felt during it. This comes from anxiety research and is a theoretical review rather than a single trial.
Craske MG, Kircanski K, Zelikowsky M, Mystkowski J, Chowdhury N, Baker A. (2008). Behaviour research and therapy · doi
Review detail
Why it works. Your expectation only updates when you catch it being wrong in your own words.