InInshirahislamically integrated self-help
ThemeThe cost of avoiding
Time60 seconds
MomentComing & going
1Offer school again at ten, and at eleven, and after lunch. One refusal at half past seven should not be allowed to decide the whole day.
cbtThe cost of avoiding60 secondsQur'an 12:87

Morning dread usually peaks around the time they would be leaving and then drains away over a couple of hours. A child who could not face it at half past seven can often manage third period, and will almost never suggest that themselves. Keep the offer open, ask lightly, take no for an answer each time without a row, and mean it when you ask again.

Islamic evidence

My sons, go and seek news of Joseph and his brother and do not despair of God's mercy (Quran 12:87). Jacob sends them out again after years of nothing, which is roughly the patience this asks for.

My sons, go and seek news of Joseph and his brother and do not despair of God’s mercy- only disbelievers despair of God’s mercy.’

Qur'an 12:87

Psychological evidence

Reviews of exposure written from an inhibitory learning view argue that the work is done by finding out the expected disaster did not happen, and that this is only learned by going towards the thing. These are theoretical reviews assembling laboratory and clinical evidence, not trials of hourly offers. Read at that level, each fresh offer is another chance for the prediction to be tested rather than confirmed.

Craske MG, Treanor M, Conway CC, Zbozinek T, Vervliet B. (2014). Behaviour research and therapy · doi

Review detail

Why it works. The fear comes down as the morning goes on, so leaving the door open catches the hour when going in becomes possible.

anxietyComing & goingscholar review pendingadhd-2823-ask-again-every-hour

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