1Time alone can be a good idea or a dangerous one, and the difference is what sits underneath it. If you are already low, already dodging people, or drinking on your own, a plan to see fewer people is the wrong plan.
Ask honestly which one this is. Stepping back from a crowded, quarrelsome week is one thing. Disappearing because you cannot face anybody is another, and it gets heavier the longer it runs. Tell one person what you are doing and when you will surface, so somebody knows to come looking.
Islamic evidence
and do not chide the one who asks for help (Quran 93:10). Asking is treated as ordinary and worth answering gently, which is worth remembering when you are deciding to go quiet instead.
“and do not chide the one who asks for help”
Qur'an 93:10
Psychological evidence
An open pilot of loving-kindness meditation in veterans with post-traumatic stress found improvements in symptoms, in depression, in self-compassion and in mindfulness, though with no control group the results only point a direction. What was tested there is a practice of turning towards warmth. That is worth holding in mind before anyone prescribes themselves solitude.
Kearney DJ, Malte CA, McManus C, Martinez ME, Felleman B, Simpson TL. (2013). Journal of traumatic stress · doi
Review detail
Why it works. Being cut off is one of the things that makes a bad patch worse, so nobody should walk into it without noticing.
When not to. If you are having thoughts of ending your life, contact your doctor or a crisis line today rather than making any plan alone.
Feedback
none yet2Underneath both versions sits the same small dread: somebody being displeased with you. That is the thing to practise surviving, and it does get easier.
Start where it is cheap. Send back the wrong order. Say you would rather not, once, to a person who will be mildly annoyed and nothing worse. Sit with the discomfort for the two or three minutes it lasts instead of rushing to fix it. You are not learning to stop caring what people think, only learning that their frown does not finish you.
Islamic evidence
My mercy encompasses all things (Quran 7:156). The approval that actually holds you up is not the one being withdrawn across the table.
“Grant us good things in this world and in the life to come. We turn to You.’ God said, ‘I bring My punishment on whoever I will, but My mercy encompasses all things. ‘I shall ordain My mercy for those who are conscious of God and pay the prescribed alms; who…”
Qur'an 7:156
Psychological evidence
Women given brief self-compassion training showed different alpha-amylase, heart rate variability and subjective responses to a socially evaluative stress task than controls did. So how you meet the moment of being judged is not fixed, and it responds to short training. It was a laboratory stressor with women only, so it indicates a direction rather than describing ordinary life.
Arch JJ, Brown KW, Dean DJ, Landy LN, Brown KD, Laudenslager ML. (2014). Psychoneuroendocrinology · doi
Review detail
Why it works. Discomfort you have sat through a few times loses its power to decide things for you.