1Squeeze the hand, hold it for a few seconds, then let it go slowly. The letting go is where the calm is, and it works better once you have practised the long version.
Full muscle relaxation, working through the body group by group, takes about twenty minutes and is worth doing a handful of times. Once your body knows what that release feels like, the single hand version can call some of it back in seconds. Skipping the long version and expecting the short one to deliver is the usual reason people say it does nothing.
Islamic evidence
Keep up the prayer so that you remember Me (Quran 20:14). A physical routine is given as the means of returning attention, and a small cue borrows from that same pairing.
“I am God; there is no god but Me. So worship Me and keep up the prayer so that you remember Me”
Qur'an 20:14
Psychological evidence
In a randomised experiment comparing brief mindful breathing, progressive muscle relaxation and loving kindness practice, the breathing exercise did most for helping people stand back from their thoughts and react less to repetitive ones. So if what you need is distance from your own thinking, breath may serve you better. For the physical side, tension and release is still a straightforward way to feel the difference between held and let go.
Feldman G, Greeson J, Senville J. (2010). Behaviour research and therapy · doi
Review detail
Why it works. The short cue borrows its effect from the longer practice it has been paired with.
Feedback
none yet2Movement can settle you or wind you further up, and the difference is mostly what your mind is doing while you move.
Pacing the kitchen while you build the case against someone keeps the whole system revved. The same twenty minutes spent counting breaths or noticing your feet usually lands somewhere else entirely. If the argument will not leave your head, make the movement demanding enough that there is no room left for it.
Islamic evidence
Those who have faith and whose hearts find peace in the remembrance of God (Quran 13:28). What you fill the time with is what settles you, and a moving body is no exception.
“those who have faith and whose hearts find peace in the remembrance of God- truly it is in the remembrance of God that hearts find peace”
Qur'an 13:28
Psychological evidence
In a randomised controlled trial, two weeks of aerobic exercise reduced post-traumatic stress symptoms, and how much people gained varied with what they attended to while exercising. It was a short trial with a small sample and it was not about anger. Still, it supports the point that where your attention sits during movement is part of what the movement does.
Fetzner MG, Asmundson GJ. (2015). Cognitive behaviour therapy · doi
Review detail
Why it works. Attention decides what the body is practising, so the same activity can rehearse the fight or interrupt it.