1Four steps you can do in ten seconds in the middle of anything: stop, take one breath, look at what is actually happening, then carry on.
It fits inside an argument, a shopping queue, the second before you send a message you will regret. The value is not the breath itself, it is the gap. You have put a moment between what happened and what you do about it. Practise it a few times when nothing is going wrong, so that it is there when something is.
Islamic evidence
remember your Lord inwardly, in all humility and awe (Quran 7:205). An inward turn nobody else can see is treated as real practice, which is exactly what a ten second pause is.
“[Prophet], remember your Lord inwardly, in all humility and awe, without raising your voice, in the mornings and in the evenings- do not be one of the heedless”
Qur'an 7:205
Psychological evidence
Pooling 306 experiments, a meta-analysis of emotion regulation found that strategies changing what you attend to, or how you read a situation, worked better than trying to suppress a feeling once it had arrived. The looking step is doing the first kind of work rather than the second. That review pooled laboratory tasks, so it supports the principle rather than this particular four step sequence.
Webb TL, Miles E, Sheeran P. (2012). Psychological bulletin · doi
Review detail
Why it works. A short pause is enough to let something other than the first impulse arrive.
Feedback
none yet2Say it plainly whenever you teach anything: the way I am showing you this is not the way it has to be done. Change it until it works for you.
Anyone who has failed at the standard version of something several times will not try again unless they are told clearly that adapting it is allowed. Without that, the first awkward attempt simply confirms what they already believe about themselves. Give the permission before they start rather than afterwards, and ask later what they changed. What comes back is often better than what you offered.
Islamic evidence
God does not burden any soul with more than He has given it (Quran 65:7). What is asked is fitted to the person, so fitting a practice to a person is in good company.
“and let the wealthy man spend according to his wealth. But let him whose provision is restricted spend according to what God has given him: God does not burden any soul with more than He has given it- after hardship, God will bring ease”
Qur'an 65:7
Psychological evidence
In a randomised trial, brief mindfulness after a stressor raised heart rate variability in ordinary participants but not in people high in maladaptive perfectionism. The same practice, delivered the same way, did different things to different people. It is one study of one trait, and it is reasonable grounds for holding any protocol loosely.
Azam MA, Katz J, Fashler SR, Changoor T, Azargive S, Ritvo P. (2015). International journal of psychophysiology : official journal of the International Organization of Psychophysiology · doi
Review detail
Why it works. People who expect to fail at a technique need to hear there is no wrong way to do it before they will risk trying.
Feedback
none yet3Cold water on your face, especially around the eyes and cheeks, slows things down fast. Splash it, or hold a cold flannel there for half a minute.
This is one of the few things that works when you are too far gone to concentrate on anything. It asks for no skill and no privacy beyond a tap. Lean over the sink, hold the cold against your face, breathe out slowly while it is there. If cold makes you flinch or feels punishing, leave it and use something warmer instead.
Islamic evidence
and sent down water from the sky to cleanse you (Quran 8:11). The same verse ends with hearts made strong and feet made firm, which is close to what you are reaching for at the sink.
“Remember when He gave you sleep as a reassurance from Him, and sent down water from the sky to cleanse you, to remove Satan’s pollution from you, to make your hearts strong and your feet firm”
Qur'an 8:11
Psychological evidence
There is no trial of face cooling in this evidence set, so treat the mechanism as a plausible one rather than a proven route. The nearest relevant study randomised people to hear relaxing music before a laboratory stressor and found their autonomic nervous system recovered faster, while the effect on cortisol was less clear. That much supports the general idea that a simple outside input can shift the body's state, without telling you how much cold water does.
Thoma MV, La Marca R, Brönnimann R, Finkel L, Ehlert U, Nater UM. (2013). PloS one · doi
Review detail
Why it works. Cold on the face triggers a reflex that slows the heart, and it does that without needing your cooperation.
When not to. Skip the cold if you have a heart condition, unless a doctor has told you it is fine.