Write anger into the relapse plan by name, alongside the parties, the old friends and the difficult anniversary. Then when you look at the anger, ask what had been drunk or taken in the days around each flare. Both questions belong on the same page. It is rarely that someone lacked willpower on the day, it is that each half of the loop keeps quietly restocking the other.

Episodes that look random from close up often turn out to have a shape once there is a record of them: a point in a monthly cycle, a change of medication, a course of steroids, the months after an illness. A pattern like that points somewhere practical, which is putting the hard conversations on the easier days rather than trying to be a better person on the difficult ones. Anabolic steroid use has a well known reputation for rage and needs medical help rather than psychological technique.

The lift is real. Heat, clarity, energy, a body that suddenly knows exactly what to do. Take that away and leave a gap where it was, and within a month the gap gets filled by the same thing again. What tends to work better is finding something that offers a version of the lift, hard physical effort, work that fully absorbs you, prayer, so that the anger becomes less necessary rather than only forbidden.