Areas › Anger
Anger
Almost nobody wants to be the person who says the thing they cannot take back. The window between the surge and the words is short and it can be widened. That is most of what this area is about, along with the fear or hurt that anger is usually protecting.
What works for this
Anger control, with distress tolerance
Anger has a runway, and the earlier you step onto it the less force you need. The work is in the seconds before, not in the explosion, and it starts with the body rather than the thought.
One move, today
Name the first physical sign you get. Jaw, chest, hands, heat in the face. That sign is your only warning, and noticing it is the whole skill.
What matches
3 practicesBefore someone has said a word, you have often already decided what they are: only here because they were made to come, not really interested, wasting your time. That decision changes how the meeting goes.
The person sent by a court, or pushed into the room by a partner or a manager, walks in already read. Try starting the hour with nothing written: no…
Stoics, Cynics, Buddhist teachers and your own grandmother were all working on the same problem: how to stay steady when life leans on you. You are allowed to use the version that is already yours.
You do not have to import somebody else's whole worldview to get a practice of steadiness. If sitting with a breath count feels foreign, a…
Have three or four openers ready before you need them. For what it is worth. Can I run something by you. You might not like this, so give me the benefit of the doubt.
When you are stirred up you will not compose diplomatic language on the spot, so the phrases have to be picked in advance and worn in. Say them aloud…