Areas › Anger
Anger
Almost nobody wants to be the person who says the thing they cannot take back. The window between the surge and the words is short and it can be widened. That is most of what this area is about, along with the fear or hurt that anger is usually protecting.
What works for this
Anger control, with distress tolerance
Anger has a runway, and the earlier you step onto it the less force you need. The work is in the seconds before, not in the explosion, and it starts with the body rather than the thought.
One move, today
Name the first physical sign you get. Jaw, chest, hands, heat in the face. That sign is your only warning, and noticing it is the whole skill.
What matches
82 practicesAnger turned inwards covers two very different things. One is turning on yourself, the other is suffering where somebody can see it so that they feel the weight of it.
Both get the same name and they need opposite handling. Someone attacking themselves needs the attack softened. Someone using visible unhappiness to…
Giving up certainty is a loss, and it is fair to treat it as one. People do grieve the version of themselves who knew exactly what was going on.
The same piece of work gets called several things: getting used to uncertainty in small doses, learning to sit with confusion, or grieving the loss…