Lesson 2 of 6 · The four things that corrode it
The one sentence
Noticing only, and only in yourself. Naming the other person's horsemen out loud is a fifth horseman.
The move
Removing one of the four
10 minutes or less
- Pick the one YOU do. Not the one they do. This only works on your own.
- Criticism becomes a complaint: the bins were not put out, rather than you never help.
- Defensiveness becomes one sentence of taking a part: you are right that I forgot.
- Contempt has no softer version. It just stops.
- Withdrawal becomes a named pause with a return time.
If it does not work
If you cannot pick the one you do, ask them, once, and do not argue with the answer. That question is itself a repair attempt.
Write the one sentence
A specific plan works better than a good intention. Fill both halves in your own words.
When
I will
Put it in your calendar
Pick a day and a time and you will get a calendar file to open. Nothing is sent anywhere.
Kept in this browser only.