Lesson 5 of 6 · The small things, and the in-laws
Tuesday afternoon decides how Friday night goes
The Prophet, peace be upon him, was asked what he did in his house, and the answer was that he kept himself busy serving his family, and when the prayer came he went out to it. Not a grand programme. Household work, done by him, ordinarily.
Qur’an and Sunnah
The whole point in one line. He kept himself busy serving his family, and when the prayer came he went out to it. Not a grand programme. Household work, done by him, ordinarily.
Narrated Al-Aswad:That he asked `Aisha "What did the Prophet (ﷺ) use to do in his house?" She replied, "He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was the time for prayer he would go for it
Sahih al-Bukhari 676graded sound, sahihaynthe Arabic and its grading
What the research says
Newlywed couples were watched in ordinary daily interaction as well as in conflict, and how partners responded to each other's small everyday overtures predicted how their later disagreements went. The repair happens on the ordinary days, not in the argument.
Newlywed couples were observed in ordinary, non conflict daily interaction as well as in conflict. How partners responded to each other's small everyday overtures was related to how their later disagreements went. The useful and unglamorous claim is that what happens on an ordinary afternoon shapes what a row looks like, not the other way round. We have left the identifier off this line because we could not confirm it.
Driver JL, Gottman JM (2004). Daily marital interactions and positive affect during marital conflict among newlywed couples. Family Process, 43(3), 301 to 314