Lesson 6 of 6 · When it has gone past shouting
The child has rights against the parent, and this is not modern
People sometimes assume that the idea of a child having claims on a parent, rather than only duties towards one, came from somewhere else. It did not.
The Qur'an prohibits killing children out of fear of poverty, twice, in two different surahs, addressed directly to parents in a society where it happened, with the parents' own stated reason answered rather than ignored. And 6:151 puts being good to parents and not killing children in one breath, which is the two directional picture this step is making.
The distance between what those verses forbid and what this course is about is enormous, and nothing here is putting you anywhere on that scale. The argument is structural. Whatever else the prohibition establishes, it establishes that a limit exists at all, and that the limit does not come from the parent. The parent is not the final authority over the child.
That is the ground this lesson stands on. Getting help for how things are going at home is not a betrayal of your family. It is the thing the ground was laid for.
Qur’an and Sunnah
The Qur'an prohibits this twice, in two different surahs, addressed directly to parents in a society where it happened, with the parents' own stated reason answered rather than ignored. Plainly: the distance between what this forbids and what is being discussed is enormous, and nothing here puts you anywhere on that scale. The argument is structural. A limit exists, and it does not come from the parent.
وَلَا تَقۡتُلُوٓاْ أَوۡلَٰدَكُمۡ خَشۡيَةَ إِمۡلَٰقࣲۖ نَّحۡنُ نَرۡزُقُهُمۡ وَإِيَّاكُمۡۚ إِنَّ قَتۡلَهُمۡ كَانَ خِطۡـࣰٔ ا كَبِيرࣰ ا
Do not kill your children for fear of poverty––We shall provide for them and for you––killing them is a great sin
Qur’an 17:31
The second of the two, and it puts being good to parents and not killing children in one breath, which is the two directional picture being drawn.
۞قُلۡ تَعَالَوۡاْ أَتۡلُ مَا حَرَّمَ رَبُّكُمۡ عَلَيۡكُمۡۖ أَلَّا تُشۡرِكُواْ بِهِۦ شَيۡـࣰٔ اۖ وَبِٱلۡوَٰلِدَيۡنِ إِحۡسَٰنࣰ اۖ وَلَا تَقۡتُلُوٓاْ أَوۡلَٰدَكُم مِّنۡ إِمۡلَٰقࣲ نَّحۡنُ نَرۡزُقُكُمۡ وَإِيَّاهُمۡۖ وَلَا تَقۡرَبُواْ ٱلۡفَوَٰحِشَ مَا ظَهَرَ مِنۡهَا وَمَا بَطَنَۖ وَلَا تَقۡتُلُواْ ٱلنَّفۡسَ ٱلَّتِي حَرَّمَ ٱللَّهُ إِلَّا بِٱلۡحَقِّۚ ذَٰلِكُمۡ وَصَّىٰكُم بِهِۦ لَعَلَّكُمۡ تَعۡقِلُونَ
Say, ‘Come! I will tell you what your Lord has really forbidden you. Do not ascribe anything as a partner to Him; be good to your parents; do not kill your children in fear of poverty’- We will provide for you and for them- ‘ stay well away from committing obscenities, whether openly or in secret; do not take the life God has made sacred, except by right. This is what He commands you to do: perhaps you will use your reason
Qur’an 6:151
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.