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Lesson 2 of 6 · Why it works tonight and fails by next year

The one sentence

Still noticing. The change comes in lesson four and it is smaller than you think.

The move

Seeing the short and the long together

5 minutes or less

  1. Write what shouting gets you in the next thirty seconds.
  2. Write what it has got you over the last year with this same child and this same thing.
  3. Notice that the first is why you keep doing it. Reward works, and this is reward.
  4. That is a mechanism, and mechanisms can be changed. It is not a statement about the kind of parent you are.

If it does not work

If the honest answer is that it has worked long term, look again at whether the behaviour moved or whether the child just stopped doing it in front of you.

Write the one sentence

A specific plan works better than a good intention. Fill both halves in your own words.

When
I will
Put it in your calendar

Pick a day and a time and you will get a calendar file to open. Nothing is sent anywhere.

Kept in this browser only.