Lesson 6 of 6 · When this has become something else
When repentance itself has become the problem
Returning to Allah often is not a symptom of anything, and nothing here says otherwise. The report in lesson three has a servant come back three times. Frequency alone is not the issue and never was. He himself, peace be upon him, said that he asked forgiveness of Allah and turned to Him in repentance more than seventy times a day, and in Muslim, a hundred times a day. If that is the practice, then a count is not a symptom and cannot be read as one.
Ibn al-Qayyim writes in Madarij al-Salikin: أن عبودية التوبه من احب العبوديات إلى الله وأكرمها عليه فإنه سبحانه يحب التوابين. Our rendering, and not a published translation: the servitude of repentance is among the most beloved forms of servitude to Allah and the most honoured with Him, for He loves those who turn back.
What changes is not how often, it is what stops it. Worship stops when it is done, and then the day carries on. Something else is happening when the repeating cannot stop until the anxiety drops, when it has to be redone because it did not feel right, when you need certainty that it was accepted, when you ask a scholar or a forum or an app and the relief lasts an hour, and when the whole thing has been growing.
If that is a description of you, this is a known pattern, it has a name, and it is treatable. The treatment involves changing what you do with the repeating, and it works. It is not in this course, and it should not be, because done from a page on the internet it goes wrong, and because it is your religious practice being handled and that deserves somebody qualified in the room. Ask for a clinician who works with obsessive compulsive presentations, ideally with a scholar you trust available alongside them.
Qur’an and Sunnah
Returning to Allah often is not a symptom of anything. This is the report from lesson three, where a servant comes back three times. Frequency alone is not the issue and never was.
Narrated Abu Huraira:I heard the Prophet (ﷺ) saying, "If somebody commits a sin and then says, 'O my Lord! I have sinned, please forgive me!' and his Lord says, 'My slave has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for it, I therefore have forgiven my slave (his sins).' Then he remains without committing any sin for a while and then again commits another sin and says, 'O my Lord, I have committed another sin, please forgive me,' and Allah says, 'My slave has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for it, I therefore have forgiven my slave (his sin). Then he remains without Committing any another sin for a while and then commits another sin (for the third time) and says, 'O my Lord, I have committed another sin, please forgive me,' and Allah says, 'My slave has known that he has a Lord Who forgives sins and punishes for it I therefore have forgiven My slave (his sin), he can do whatever he likes
Sahih al-Bukhari 7507graded sound, sahihaynthe Arabic and its grading
He himself asked forgiveness more than seventy times a day, peace be upon him. If that is the practice then a count is not a symptom and cannot be read as one.
Narrated Abu Huraira:I heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) saying." By Allah! I ask for forgiveness from Allah and turn to Him in repentance more than seventy times a day
Sahih al-Bukhari 6307graded sound, sahihaynthe Arabic and its grading
The count is higher again in this wording, which is why a count of your own cannot be read as a symptom.
Al-Agharr al-Muzani, who was one amongst the Companions (of the Holy Prophet) reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said:There is (at times) some sort of shade upon my heart, and I seek forgiveness from Allah a hundred times a day
Sahih Muslim 2702graded sound, sahihaynthe Arabic and its grading