Lesson 2 of 6 · A measuring habit, and what the feed does to it
The measuring habit, named
The Qur'an speaks about the eye and what it reaches for, and notice where it puts the problem. It puts it in the looking, not in the person who has the thing. The words for piling up and boasting about it are already in the text, which means none of this is new. What is new is the size of the sample.
Qur’an and Sunnah
The Qur'an speaks about the eye and what it reaches for, so notice where it puts the problem. In the looking, not in the person who has the thing.
وَلَا تَمُدَّنَّ عَيۡنَيۡكَ إِلَىٰ مَا مَتَّعۡنَا بِهِۦٓ أَزۡوَٰجࣰ ا مِّنۡهُمۡ زَهۡرَةَ ٱلۡحَيَوٰةِ ٱلدُّنۡيَا لِنَفۡتِنَهُمۡ فِيهِۚ وَرِزۡقُ رَبِّكَ خَيۡرࣱ وَأَبۡقَىٰ
and do not gaze longingly at what We have given some of them to enjoy, the finery of this present life: We test them through this, but the provision of your Lord is better and more lasting
Qur’an 20:131
The same instruction in a second place, and it puts the problem in the same spot: in the looking, not in the person who has the thing.
لَا تَمُدَّنَّ عَيۡنَيۡكَ إِلَىٰ مَا مَتَّعۡنَا بِهِۦٓ أَزۡوَٰجࣰ ا مِّنۡهُمۡ وَلَا تَحۡزَنۡ عَلَيۡهِمۡ وَٱخۡفِضۡ جَنَاحَكَ لِلۡمُؤۡمِنِينَ
Do not look longingly at the good things We have given some to enjoy. Do not grieve over the [disbelievers], but lower your wings over the believers
Qur’an 15:88
The word for piling up is already in the text, which is why the measuring habit is not something the phone invented.
أَلۡهَىٰكُمُ ٱلتَّكَاثُرُ
Striving for more distracts you
Qur’an 102:1
That is how far the piling up is said to go, and the two verses run as one sentence.
حَتَّىٰ زُرۡتُمُ ٱلۡمَقَابِرَ
until you go into your graves
Qur’an 102:2
The present life is a game, a diversion, an attraction, a cause of boasting among you and of rivalry in wealth and children. The word for boasting about it is in the text too. None of this is new. What is new is the size of the sample.
ٱعۡلَمُوٓاْ أَنَّمَا ٱلۡحَيَوٰةُ ٱلدُّنۡيَا لَعِبࣱ وَلَهۡوࣱ وَزِينَةࣱ وَتَفَاخُرُۢ بَيۡنَكُمۡ وَتَكَاثُرࣱ فِي ٱلۡأَمۡوَٰلِ وَٱلۡأَوۡلَٰدِۖ كَمَثَلِ غَيۡثٍ أَعۡجَبَ ٱلۡكُفَّارَ نَبَاتُهُۥ ثُمَّ يَهِيجُ فَتَرَىٰهُ مُصۡفَرࣰّ ا ثُمَّ يَكُونُ حُطَٰمࣰ اۖ وَفِي ٱلۡأٓخِرَةِ عَذَابࣱ شَدِيدࣱ وَمَغۡفِرَةࣱ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ وَرِضۡوَٰنࣱۚ وَمَا ٱلۡحَيَوٰةُ ٱلدُّنۡيَآ إِلَّا مَتَٰعُ ٱلۡغُرُورِ
Bear in mind that the present life is just a game, a diversion, an attraction, a cause of boasting among you, of rivalry in wealth and children. It is like plants that spring up after the rain: their growth at first delights the sowers, but then you see them wither away, turn yellow, and become stubble. There is terrible punishment in the next life as well as forgiveness and approval from God; the life of this world is only an illusory pleasure
Qur’an 57:20
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
What the research says
The same ordinary drive, with one difference that matters: a feed does not create the urge to compare, it changes who is in the sample. You are measuring yourself against a selected, edited crowd rather than against the people around you.
People need to know how they are doing. Where there is no objective standard available, they work it out by comparing themselves with other people, and they prefer to compare with people who are similar to themselves. The drive is ordinary and it is in everybody. A feed does not create it. It changes who is in the sample.
Festinger L (1954). A Theory of Social Comparison Processes. Human Relations, 7(2), 117 to 140 doi