Loading practices
Loading practices
Areas › Focus, starting, and ADHD › Treatment and medication
The moral version has a quiet arrogance in it, the assumption that the child could manage if only they cared enough, and everyone in the house can feel that assumption even when nobody says it. Once the picture changes, three things usually follow: people are kinder, the day's failures are forgiven more easily, and somebody starts arguing the child's corner at school. Those are not soft outcomes. They are what makes the rest of the treatment survivable.
This explains how treatments work. Never start, stop or change a medication because of something you read here.
No blame will be attached to the blind, the lame, the sick (Quran 24:61). Limits in what a body or mind can do are named plainly and set outside the language of fault.
النور
لَّيۡسَ عَلَى ٱلۡأَعۡمَىٰ حَرَجࣱ وَلَا عَلَى ٱلۡأَعۡرَجِ حَرَجࣱ وَلَا عَلَى ٱلۡمَرِيضِ حَرَجࣱ وَلَا عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِكُمۡ أَن تَأۡكُلُواْ مِنۢ بُيُوتِكُمۡ أَوۡ بُيُوتِ ءَابَآئِكُمۡ أَوۡ بُيُوتِ أُمَّهَٰتِكُمۡ أَوۡ بُيُوتِ إِخۡوَٰنِكُمۡ أَوۡ بُيُوتِ أَخَوَٰتِكُمۡ أَوۡ بُيُوتِ أَعۡمَٰمِكُمۡ أَوۡ بُيُوتِ عَمَّٰتِكُمۡ أَوۡ بُيُوتِ أَخۡوَٰلِكُمۡ أَوۡ بُيُوتِ خَٰلَٰتِكُمۡ أَوۡ مَا مَلَكۡتُم مَّفَاتِحَهُۥٓ أَوۡ صَدِيقِكُمۡۚ لَيۡسَ عَلَيۡكُمۡ جُنَاحٌ أَن تَأۡكُلُواْ جَمِيعًا أَوۡ أَشۡتَاتࣰ اۚ فَإِذَا دَخَلۡتُم بُيُوتࣰ ا فَسَلِّمُواْ عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِكُمۡ تَحِيَّةࣰ مِّنۡ عِندِ ٱللَّهِ مُبَٰرَكَةࣰ طَيِّبَةࣰۚ كَذَٰلِكَ يُبَيِّنُ ٱللَّهُ لَكُمُ ٱلۡأٓيَٰتِ لَعَلَّكُمۡ تَعۡقِلُونَ
No blame will be attached to the blind, the lame, the sick.Whether you eat in your own houses, or those of your fathers, your mothers, your brothers, your sisters, your paternal uncles, your paternal aunts, your maternal uncles, your maternal aunts, houses you have the keys for, or any of your friends’ houses, you will not be blamed: you will not be blamed whether you eat in company or separately. When you enter any house, greet one another with a greeting of blessing and goodness as enjoined by God. This is how God makes His messages clear to you so that you may understand
Qur’an 24:61read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
A systematic review and meta analysis, together with a placebo controlled imaging study in adolescents who had never taken medication, showed that methylphenidate changes brain activity during tasks that call on attention and inhibition. That work speaks to a physical process underlying self control, one that shifts when it is treated. It does not measure anything about blame or family attitudes, and it is worth citing carefully rather than as proof that a child cannot help anything at all.
Rubia K, Alegria AA, Cubillo AI, Smith AB, Brammer MJ, Radua J. (2014). Effects of stimulants on brain function in attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: a systematic review and meta-analysis.. Biological psychiatry doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
How you explain a child's behaviour decides whether you reach for help or for punishment.
The therapy that helps adult ADHD is not really about arguing with your thoughts. It is practical work on how your week is built, and it works because you are the one who can go and rebuild it.
Listen for the sentence that says the child could manage all of this perfectly well if they only decided to. However kindly it is meant, that is the belief to take apart.
Somebody will eventually ask you whether you want what is best for your child. It is a sales line, and knowing that in advance is most of what you need to withstand it.