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Areas › Focus, starting, and ADHD › Treatment and medication
Those three are results, not manners. Harsh days breed pushing back, pushing back breeds harsher days, and that loop is the main road from ADHD to a child who is also angry and defiant. Kindness and easy forgiveness break the loop at the point where it turns. Advocacy does something else again, keeping the school's side of the arrangement in place long after the initial meeting is forgotten.
This explains how treatments work. Never start, stop or change a medication because of something you read here.
Pardon us, forgive us, and have mercy on us (Quran 2:286). Forgiveness is asked for daily in ordinary human failing, which is a fair model for how a family handles a hard week.
البقرة
لَا يُكَلِّفُ ٱللَّهُ نَفۡسًا إِلَّا وُسۡعَهَاۚ لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتۡ وَعَلَيۡهَا مَا ٱكۡتَسَبَتۡۗ رَبَّنَا لَا تُؤَاخِذۡنَآ إِن نَّسِينَآ أَوۡ أَخۡطَأۡنَاۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تَحۡمِلۡ عَلَيۡنَآ إِصۡرࣰ ا كَمَا حَمَلۡتَهُۥ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبۡلِنَاۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تُحَمِّلۡنَا مَا لَا طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِۦۖ وَٱعۡفُ عَنَّا وَٱغۡفِرۡ لَنَا وَٱرۡحَمۡنَآۚ أَنتَ مَوۡلَىٰنَا فَٱنصُرۡنَا عَلَى ٱلۡقَوۡمِ ٱلۡكَٰفِرِينَ
God does not burden any soul with more than it can bear: each gains whatever good it has done, and suffers its bad- ‘ Lord, do not take us to task if we forget or make mistakes. Lord, do not burden us as You burdened those before us. Lord, do not burden us with more than we have strength to bear. Pardon us, forgive us, and have mercy on us. You are our Protector, so help us against the disbelievers.’
Qur’an 2:286read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
A systematic review, meta analysis and meta regression of mindfulness based interventions in ADHD found promising effects reaching beyond core symptoms, while noting that the trial base is still modest. It is a reminder that things like distress and how people relate to each other are measurable outcomes in their own right. It is not evidence about parental forgiveness specifically, which as far as this bank goes has not been trialled.
Oliva F, Malandrone F, di Girolamo G, Mirabella S, Colombi N, Carletto S, Ostacoli L. (2021). The efficacy of mindfulness-based interventions in attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder beyond core symptoms: A systematic review, meta-analysis, and meta-regression.. Journal of affective disorders doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Warmth and forgiveness interrupt the cycle of pushing back that otherwise builds a second problem on top of the first.
People who use several kinds of help tend to report more benefit than people relying on one. Medication, therapy, coaching, reading, sleep and movement all seem to add something rather than compete.
Treatment is not only about school reports. Lower rates of accidental injury and of other serious harms are reasons in their own right, even for a child whose marks are perfectly fine.
Supplements are not checked before they go on sale, so what is in the bottle may not match the label. Look for a third party mark such as USP or NSF before you buy.