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Areas › Focus, starting, and ADHD › Systems for daily life
Calendars, laundry and deadlines are the visible half. The harder half is friendship, saying no, asking for something, being alone in a room full of strangers. Plan for both from the beginning, in small doses: one system being built, one social thing being practised. If someone looks fine on paper and is quietly miserable, it is usually the second half that has been left out.
They are those who are neither wasteful nor niggardly when they spend, but keep to a just balance (Quran 25:67). Balance is named as the standard, and a plan tipped wholly onto one side of a life is out of it.
الفرقان
وَٱلَّذِينَ إِذَآ أَنفَقُواْ لَمۡ يُسۡرِفُواْ وَلَمۡ يَقۡتُرُواْ وَكَانَ بَيۡنَ ذَٰلِكَ قَوَامࣰ ا
They are those who are neither wasteful nor niggardly when they spend, but keep to a just balance
Qur’an 25:67read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
An updated systematic review sorted the psychosocial treatments for children and adolescents with ADHD and put behavioural parent training, behavioural classroom management and peer based work at the top as the best supported. Notice that the list runs across both the practical setting and the social one. It was written about school aged children rather than about people leaving school, so it suggests the shape of a plan without settling it.
Steven W. Evans; Julie Sarno Owens; Nóra Bunford (2013). Evidence-Based Psychosocial Treatments for Children and Adolescents with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
The practical and the social hold each other up, so a plan that mends one and ignores the other rarely lasts.
Keep both tools, and settle in advance where each thing goes. The deciding is what wears you out, so make that decision once instead of forty times a week.
Early on, reward the work being finished even when it is rough. Accuracy tends to follow once things are getting done at all.
University is one route, not the route. Saying so only helps if you can name the others, so find out what actually exists before you have the conversation.