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Areas › Focus, starting, and ADHD › Screens and attention
Being honest early does two things. It stops you quietly concluding that you are not good enough, when what is actually happening is that the available level of care is not equal to the problem. And it lets a family plan against reality rather than waiting for a change your sessions were never going to produce. You can still be useful from there: reduce the harm, keep the relationship intact, hold the door open for when more becomes possible.
God does not burden any soul with more than it can bear (Quran 2:286). That applies to the person helping as much as to the person being helped.
البقرة
لَا يُكَلِّفُ ٱللَّهُ نَفۡسًا إِلَّا وُسۡعَهَاۚ لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتۡ وَعَلَيۡهَا مَا ٱكۡتَسَبَتۡۗ رَبَّنَا لَا تُؤَاخِذۡنَآ إِن نَّسِينَآ أَوۡ أَخۡطَأۡنَاۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تَحۡمِلۡ عَلَيۡنَآ إِصۡرࣰ ا كَمَا حَمَلۡتَهُۥ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبۡلِنَاۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تُحَمِّلۡنَا مَا لَا طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِۦۖ وَٱعۡفُ عَنَّا وَٱغۡفِرۡ لَنَا وَٱرۡحَمۡنَآۚ أَنتَ مَوۡلَىٰنَا فَٱنصُرۡنَا عَلَى ٱلۡقَوۡمِ ٱلۡكَٰفِرِينَ
God does not burden any soul with more than it can bear: each gains whatever good it has done, and suffers its bad- ‘ Lord, do not take us to task if we forget or make mistakes. Lord, do not burden us as You burdened those before us. Lord, do not burden us with more than we have strength to bear. Pardon us, forgive us, and have mercy on us. You are our Protector, so help us against the disbelievers.’
Qur’an 2:286read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
A clinical account describes adapting dialectical behaviour therapy for problematic interactive media use, prompted by clinicians noticing disrupted sleep, inattention to schoolwork and social withdrawal in heavy users. It is a description of an adapted treatment rather than a trial, which is itself the point here: for severe cases, clinicians are still working out what to offer. Promising less than the evidence supports is accuracy, not pessimism.
Pluhar E, Jhe G, Tsappis M, Bickham D, Rich M. (2020). Adapting Dialectical Behavior Therapy for Treating Problematic Interactive Media Use.. Journal of psychiatric practice doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Naming what a given level of care can and cannot do stops everyone waiting for something that was not coming.
For some people the online part is not a side issue sitting next to the depression or the anxiety. It is one of the things holding them in place.
Ask two questions and then sit with the difference. How much time on this would you like? And how much do you think is actually good for you?
Not every app is doing the same thing to you. The ones that tend to hurt have comments underneath, a feed chosen for you, and a number attached to how you did.