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Areas › Low mood and hard feelings › When you use something to cope
Under-reporting is rarely a lie. There is legal risk, there is shame, and there is genuinely losing count. So plan around a larger figure than the one you were given, and resist announcing that you have doubled it, because being caught out in the first meeting usually ends the honesty rather than improving it. Trust builds and the real number tends to arrive on its own.
If you are using something to cope and it has become hard to stop, please speak to a doctor before changing anything.
I do not pretend to be blameless, for man's very soul incites him to evil unless my Lord shows mercy (Quran 12:53). Honest self-accounting like that becomes possible in an atmosphere of mercy, and is very hard to reach anywhere else.
يوسف
۞وَمَآ أُبَرِّئُ نَفۡسِيٓۚ إِنَّ ٱلنَّفۡسَ لَأَمَّارَةُۢ بِٱلسُّوٓءِ إِلَّا مَا رَحِمَ رَبِّيٓۚ إِنَّ رَبِّي غَفُورࣱ رَّحِيمࣱ
I do not pretend to be blameless, for man’s very soul incites him to evil unless my Lord shows mercy: He is most forgiving, most merciful.’
Qur’an 12:53read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
A systematic review of eighteen studies found self-compassion and self-forgiveness linked with less problem drinking and better recovery outcomes, while calling the evidence preliminary. That is a reason to keep shame out of the room. Preliminary means the direction is encouraging and the case is not closed.
Berg SJ, Zaso MJ, Biehler KM, Read JP. (2024). Self-Compassion and Self-Forgiveness in Alcohol Risk, Treatment and Recovery: A Systematic Review.. Clinical psychology & psychotherapy doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
People tell you more once they are sure they will not be punished for it.
If a young person is using regularly, waiting to see whether they grow out of it is a gamble. Help early is nearly always cheaper than help later.
Not feeling sleepy is not the same as not being affected. Younger drinkers often stay awake through a great deal more than their body is actually handling.
Whatever you reach for is probably doing something real for you. Naming that job honestly gets you further than calling yourself weak.