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Areas › Low mood and hard feelings › When you use something to cope
One fifteen year old described it exactly that way: the comfort was that she could, not that she did. If that is your pattern the work sits in two places. Deal with the anxiety that the availability is quietly soothing, and change where the device lives, because a pocket is a promise and a drawer in another room is not.
If you are using something to cope and it has become hard to stop, please speak to a doctor before changing anything.
Satan threatens you with the prospect of poverty (Quran 2:268). The threat there is about something you might lack later, which is the same shape as needing to know it is in your pocket.
البقرة
ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنُ يَعِدُكُمُ ٱلۡفَقۡرَ وَيَأۡمُرُكُم بِٱلۡفَحۡشَآءِۖ وَٱللَّهُ يَعِدُكُم مَّغۡفِرَةࣰ مِّنۡهُ وَفَضۡلࣰ اۗ وَٱللَّهُ وَٰسِعٌ عَلِيمࣱ
Satan threatens you with the prospect of poverty and commands you to do foul deeds; God promises you His forgiveness and His abundance: God is limitless and all knowing
Qur’an 2:268read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
A theoretical review of mindfulness based relapse prevention sets out how noticing a craving without acting on it is thought to lower relapse, and is clear that the mechanistic evidence is still being built. The practical part travels well even so: a craving watched for a minute is a craving you have not yet obeyed. Take it as a plausible model rather than a proven one.
Witkiewitz K, Bowen S, Harrop EN, Douglas H, Enkema M, Sedgwick C. (2014). Mindfulness-based treatment to prevent addictive behavior relapse: theoretical models and hypothesized mechanisms of change.. Substance use & misuse doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
When the relief comes from knowing it is there, the things to change are the anxiety and the distance.
Set small rewards for staying off it and let them grow the longer you go, so the next one is always near and a slip costs something you can feel.
When someone keeps doing the risky thing after every explanation, the missing piece is usually not information. The pull is simply louder than the knowledge.
If cutting down has failed over and over, that is information rather than a verdict on you. For some people the workable goal turns out to be none rather than less.