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Areas › Focus, starting, and ADHD › Bringing the future closer
The listener does not need to be an expert in any of it. Talking forces you to put things in order, and the gaps tend to announce themselves halfway through a sentence. It also borrows a little of their forethought for ten minutes, which is most of what a good coach actually gives you. Ask them to ask questions rather than to approve it.
'Race to do good deeds and wherever you are, God will bring you together' (Quran 2:148). Being brought together with other people is part of the design, and thinking clearly is easier in company.
البقرة
وَلِكُلࣲّ وِجۡهَةٌ هُوَ مُوَلِّيهَاۖ فَٱسۡتَبِقُواْ ٱلۡخَيۡرَٰتِۚ أَيۡنَ مَا تَكُونُواْ يَأۡتِ بِكُمُ ٱللَّهُ جَمِيعًاۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَيۡءࣲ قَدِيرࣱ
Each community has its own direction to which it turns: race to do good deeds and wherever you are, God will bring you together. God has power to do everything
Qur’an 2:148read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
A meta-analysis of 65 randomised trials found that interventions built on self determination theory changed health behaviour, with autonomous motivation and perceived competence acting as the mechanisms in between. Those were health trials rather than studies of talking a plan through, so it is applied sideways here. It does suggest the value lies in leaving the conversation feeling more capable and more in charge, not in being told what to do.
Sheeran P, Wright CE, Avishai A, Villegas ME, Lindemans JW, Klein WMP, Rothman AJ, Miles E, Ntoumanis N. (2020). Self-determination theory interventions for health behavior change: Meta-analysis and meta-analytic structural equation modeling of randomized controlled trials.. Journal of consulting and clinical psychology doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Explaining something in order exposes the steps you were quietly skipping.
Give the later self a name and be a bit silly about it. Is Thursday you going to be furious with Monday you again? Is Thursday you always the one clearing up?
Mindfulness practice is good for most people, and may help a little more if you have ADHD. Treat it as something supportive rather than as the treatment itself.
Putting tomorrow's envelope beside your keys only works if the keys are the only other thing there. On a counter covered in post, the envelope just becomes part of the pile.