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Areas › Focus, starting, and ADHD › Systems for daily life
Taking it on often works through a person rather than through the task. You may not care about the paperwork, but you care about whoever is waiting on it, and that counts as a reason. Crossing it off is allowed too, and chosen deletion is a decision rather than a defeat. Either way the loop closes and you stop paying for it.
help one another to do what is right and good (Quran 5:2). Doing something because it matters to somebody you love is a real reason, not a lesser one.
المائدة
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ لَا تُحِلُّواْ شَعَٰٓئِرَ ٱللَّهِ وَلَا ٱلشَّهۡرَ ٱلۡحَرَامَ وَلَا ٱلۡهَدۡيَ وَلَا ٱلۡقَلَٰٓئِدَ وَلَآ ءَآمِّينَ ٱلۡبَيۡتَ ٱلۡحَرَامَ يَبۡتَغُونَ فَضۡلࣰ ا مِّن رَّبِّهِمۡ وَرِضۡوَٰنࣰ اۚ وَإِذَا حَلَلۡتُمۡ فَٱصۡطَادُواْۚ وَلَا يَجۡرِمَنَّكُمۡ شَنَـَٔانُ قَوۡمٍ أَن صَدُّوكُمۡ عَنِ ٱلۡمَسۡجِدِ ٱلۡحَرَامِ أَن تَعۡتَدُواْۘ وَتَعَاوَنُواْ عَلَى ٱلۡبِرِّ وَٱلتَّقۡوَىٰۖ وَلَا تَعَاوَنُواْ عَلَى ٱلۡإِثۡمِ وَٱلۡعُدۡوَٰنِۚ وَٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَۖ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ شَدِيدُ ٱلۡعِقَابِ
so, you who believe, do not violate the sanctity of God’s rites, the Sacred Month, the offerings, their garlands, nor those going to the Sacred House to seek the bounty and pleasure of their Lord––but when you have completed the rites of pilgrimage you may hunt. Do not let your hatred for the people who barred you from the Sacred Mosque induce you to break the law: help one another to do what is right and good; do not help one another towards sin and hostility. Be mindful of God, for His punishment is severe
Qur’an 5:2read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
In a study of 124 adults with ADHD doing twelve weeks of structured CBT, what got measured was not only core symptoms but emotional symptoms, self-esteem and everyday functioning. That mix is telling: the weight of an undone list shows up in how people come to see themselves. The comparison there was about medication alongside therapy, so it does not test list pruning on its own.
Pan MR, Huang F, Zhao MJ, Wang YF, Wang YF, Qian QJ. (2019). A comparison of efficacy between cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and CBT combined with medication in adults with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).. Psychiatry research doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
An open, unmade decision keeps drawing on your attention, and deciding either way stops the drain.
When someone has shut down, pressure to get moving usually pushes them further in. Safety first and activity afterwards, even when the whole household is desperate for a sign of life.
Put the uncertainty at the front. Not Thursday, possibly Friday, most likely Monday is worth far more to the other person than a confident yes you cannot keep.
If you keep it all in your head, it is worth asking who else is keeping it. Very often somebody nearby is doing the remembering, and neither of you has ever said so out loud.