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Areas › Focus, starting, and ADHD › Structure and routine
People who fear being locked in tend to end up with an empty calendar and a full head, which is the worse of the two problems. Say the permission out loud at the start: everything in here can be moved. Moving something is not a failure, it is the system doing its job, and you still end the week knowing what you took on.
It is He who made the night and day follow each other, so anyone who wishes may be mindful or show gratitude (Quran 25:62). The occasion keeps coming round again, so a missed slot is not the end of anything.
الفرقان
وَهُوَ ٱلَّذِي جَعَلَ ٱلَّيۡلَ وَٱلنَّهَارَ خِلۡفَةࣰ لِّمَنۡ أَرَادَ أَن يَذَّكَّرَ أَوۡ أَرَادَ شُكُورࣰ ا
it is He who made the night and day follow each other- so anyone who wishes may be mindful or show gratitude
Qur’an 25:62read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
An experimental study found that if then plans reduced the pull of an existing habit on behaviour, though the benefit shrank as the competing habit grew stronger. A plan holds a place and tips the odds a little. It does not bind you, and treating it as binding asks more of it than the evidence gives.
Webb TL, Sheeran P, Luszczynska A. (2009). Planning to break unwanted habits: habit strength moderates implementation intention effects on behaviour change.. The British journal of social psychology doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
When changing your mind stays cheap, you are willing to commit to something in the first place.
Bring a child back with the smallest signal that does the job. A tap on the desk, a hand on the shoulder, or simply standing beside them will usually be enough.
Some children need to move, and the choice is whether that movement is allowed for or whether it arrives as a disruption later on.
Writing Tuesday at two in your diary is not a vow. If Tuesday comes and something else matters more, move it. At least it had a chance of happening.