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Areas › Anger › What anger actually is
Plenty of people who will not sit through feelings talk will happily work on catching an impulse, because that sounds like training rather than confession. It also keeps the focus where it belongs: the split second, the reflex, what your hands and feet do next. Use whichever word actually gets you practising.
who restrain their anger and pardon people (Quran 3:134). Restraint is named as an accomplishment, which sits closer to training than to confession.
آل عمران
ٱلَّذِينَ يُنفِقُونَ فِي ٱلسَّرَّآءِ وَٱلضَّرَّآءِ وَٱلۡكَٰظِمِينَ ٱلۡغَيۡظَ وَٱلۡعَافِينَ عَنِ ٱلنَّاسِۗ وَٱللَّهُ يُحِبُّ ٱلۡمُحۡسِنِينَ
who give, both in prosperity and adversity, who restrain their anger and pardon people- God loves those who do good
Qur’an 3:134read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
A Cochrane review of behavioural and cognitive-behavioural approaches, anger management among them, for outward aggression in people with intellectual disabilities found some benefit, though the certainty of the evidence was low. The practical end of this work is what has been tested most. Low certainty means both the size of the benefit and how far it carries remain open.
Prior D, Win S, Hassiotis A, Hall I, Martiello MA, Ali AK. (2023). Behavioural and cognitive-behavioural interventions for outwardly directed aggressive behaviour in people with intellectual disabilities.. The Cochrane database of systematic reviews doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
A description you do not have to argue with is one you will get on with.
Humans have a long history of harming each other, and pretending otherwise keeps nobody safe. Assume the capacity is there and plan around it.
If you have been told all your life that you are too negative, some of that is standard human wiring. Bad news gets more attention than good, in everyone, because it always did.
Some reactions are pure reflex, some are feelings, and some are really stories about yourself. What helps differs for each, so it is worth knowing which you are dealing with.