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Areas › Anger › The moment before you snap
A fast, crude warning is exactly right when a car is coming and much less useful when it is your brother's tone of voice. Take the first signal as a rough alert and let the slower reading catch up before you decide what it meant. That is usually a matter of seconds, not of years of therapy.
If a prompting from Satan should stir you, seek refuge with God (Quran 41:36). The instruction attaches to the stirring itself, before you have worked out what the stirring means.
فصلت
وَإِمَّا يَنزَغَنَّكَ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ نَزۡغࣱ فَٱسۡتَعِذۡ بِٱللَّهِۖ إِنَّهُۥ هُوَ ٱلسَّمِيعُ ٱلۡعَلِيمُ
If a prompting from Satan should stir you, seek refuge with God: He is the All Hearing and the All Knowing
Qur’an 41:36read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
In a brain stimulation experiment, disrupting a region involved in inhibiting impulses increased both motor impulsivity and aggressive retaliation after provocation, which supports the idea of a narrow window in which control is possible. It is a small laboratory study, and it tells us about the window rather than about what to do inside it.
Dambacher F, Sack AT, Lobbestael J, Arntz A, Brugman S, Schuhmann T. (2015). Out of control: evidence for anterior insula involvement in motor impulsivity and reactive aggression.. Social cognitive and affective neuroscience doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
The quick warning is built for speed, so it trades accuracy for being early.
Most of us think there are two things to do with anger: hold it in or let it out. There is a third, which is to stop, stay still, and watch it without doing either.
Let the strength of the feeling be your signal. When it is this loud, your judgement is temporarily unavailable, so the rule is simply no replies and no decisions at this volume.
Anger often grows after the moment that started it, with nothing new added. The system amplifies its own signal, insisting that this is big, pay attention, react.