When somebody's anger is filling the room, the bravest sentence available is usually the plainest one: you are frightening me right now.

What the research says

A review of attachment research describes how early experience shapes what people do with threat, with some escalating their distress in order to draw others closer and others shutting down. For someone in the first pattern, a real human response is nearer to what they were after than a counter-attack. It is a narrative review of a broad literature, so it offers a way of understanding rather than a tested technique.

Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.