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Areas › Anger › The moment before you snap
Two things come out of a few weeks of this. You get data: the same time of day, the same person, the same bad night behind it. And you get practice at watching yourself, which is the skill that everything else here is built on. Keep the entries short or you will stop.
Those who are aware of God think of Him when Satan prompts them to do something and immediately they can see [straight] (Quran 7:201). Noticing is what restores the clear sight, and a written record trains the noticing.
الأعراف
إِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ ٱتَّقَوۡاْ إِذَا مَسَّهُمۡ طَٰٓئِفࣱ مِّنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ تَذَكَّرُواْ فَإِذَا هُم مُّبۡصِرُونَ
those who are aware of God think of Him when Satan prompts them to do something and immediately they can see [straight]
Qur’an 7:201read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
In a laboratory study of 69 couples, aggression was highest when anger rumination was high, reappraisal was low and alcohol was present, which shows these conditions combine rather than acting one at a time. A log is how you notice your own combination. It was a lab based aggression task with couples, so the numbers describe that setting more than they describe your kitchen.
Watkins LE, DiLillo D, Maldonado RC. (2015). The interactive effects of emotion regulation and alcohol intoxication on lab-based intimate partner aggression.. Psychology of addictive behaviors : journal of the Society of Psychologists in Addictive Behaviors doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Recording something turns you into an observer of it, and observers have more choice than participants.
In a row, the words themselves rarely do the damage. The damage comes from what you do once you have decided the words mean something about you.
There is a kind of mindfulness that means sinking right into a moment, and another that means stepping back from it. When you are angry, you want the second one.
Sometimes you dislike a person or a room before you can say why. The fast part of you stores feelings, not explanations, so the reaction arrives whole and wordless.