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Areas › Anger › Making it stick
Vague plans to practise more collapse without anyone noticing. Name the moment instead: when I put my plate down, I take three slow breaths before the first bite. You already eat three or four times a day, so that is three or four reps without adding anything to your schedule.
Keep up the prayer at both ends of the day, and during parts of the night, for good things drive bad away (Quran 11:114). Fixed points in the day are the oldest way of making something stick.
هود
وَأَقِمِ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ طَرَفَيِ ٱلنَّهَارِ وَزُلَفࣰ ا مِّنَ ٱلَّيۡلِۚ إِنَّ ٱلۡحَسَنَٰتِ يُذۡهِبۡنَ ٱلسَّيِّـَٔاتِۚ ذَٰلِكَ ذِكۡرَىٰ لِلذَّٰكِرِينَ
[Prophet], keep up the prayer at both ends of the day, and during parts of the night, for good things drive bad away- this is a reminder for those who are aware
Qur’an 11:114read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
In a randomised comparison of ways to get young adults eating more fruit and vegetables, plans that tied a specific situation to a specific response did better than vaguer general ones. It was an everyday eating behaviour in a young sample, so the size of the effect is not the point. The design lesson is what transfers: name the cue, name the response.
Chapman J, Armitage CJ, Norman P. (2009). Comparing implementation intention interventions in relation to young adults' intake of fruit and vegetables.. Psychology & health doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Tying a small practice to something you already do means you do not have to remember to remember.
Rehearsing a calmer response is not thinking about change, it is the change. Each repetition makes that route slightly quicker to reach for.
When you offer a practice to someone, use their words for it rather than yours. Keep the fuller version ready for the day they ask where it comes from.
When something is genuinely alive for the person in front of you, work with that. Whatever you had planned to cover keeps until a quieter week.