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Areas › Anger › Choosing your response
It is why the useful practices feel mildly annoying rather than serene. Friction is what you are buying, because attention costs something and the small discomfort is the receipt. Once a practice becomes completely comfortable it has probably gone automatic too, and it is time to change it.
Only those who are steadfast in patience, only those who are blessed with great righteousness, will attain to such goodness (Quran 41:35). Nothing here suggests it comes easily, and the cost is treated as part of the thing rather than a sign you are doing it wrong.
فصلت
وَمَا يُلَقَّىٰهَآ إِلَّا ٱلَّذِينَ صَبَرُواْ وَمَا يُلَقَّىٰهَآ إِلَّا ذُو حَظٍّ عَظِيمࣲ
but only those who are steadfast in patience, only those who are blessed with great righteousness, will attain to such goodness
Qur’an 41:35read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
Pooling neuroimaging studies, deliberately reinterpreting an emotional situation drew on frontal and parietal control regions and lowered amygdala activity, which says deliberate work engages effortful machinery and has an effect. The imaging cannot show that the discomfort is what makes it work, only that deliberate regulation is a distinct and costly kind of processing.
Buhle JT, Silvers JA, Wager TD, Lopez R, Onyemekwu C, Kober H, Weber J, Ochsner KN. (2014). Cognitive reappraisal of emotion: a meta-analysis of human neuroimaging studies.. Cerebral cortex (New York, N.Y. : 1991) doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Smoothness means nobody is at the controls, so a bit of drag is a good sign.
Try counting what you did rather than how long you have gone. Days passing and acts practised are not the same currency.
The version of you making sensible plans this afternoon is not the version standing in the kitchen at eleven at night. Plan for the other one.
The relief people describe afterwards has little to do with clever insight. It is the feeling of being back behind the wheel, which is a large change if you have been living as though other people operate you.