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Areas › Anger › Cool the body first
There is an order that helps. First learn to catch the surge, then to see that there is a choice inside it, then to be a little less thin skinned, and only then work on bringing the body down. Offered first, slow breathing sounds like being told to calm down. Offered fourth, it is the thing you have been waiting for.
He makes the night for rest; and He made the sun and the moon to a precise measure (Quran 6:96). Rest is placed within an order, and the order is part of why it works.
الأنعام
فَالِقُ ٱلۡإِصۡبَاحِ وَجَعَلَ ٱلَّيۡلَ سَكَنࣰ ا وَٱلشَّمۡسَ وَٱلۡقَمَرَ حُسۡبَانࣰ اۚ ذَٰلِكَ تَقۡدِيرُ ٱلۡعَزِيزِ ٱلۡعَلِيمِ
He makes the dawn break; He makes the night for rest; and He made the sun and the moon to a precise measure. That is the design of the Almighty, the All Knowing
Qur’an 6:96read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
A systematic review and meta-analysis of heart rate variability biofeedback, which is essentially trained slow breathing, found moderate improvements in anxiety, depression and performance across randomised studies. So the technique is far from trivial. Whether it lands for a particular person at a particular point is a separate question that this evidence does not settle.
Lehrer P, Kaur K, Sharma A, Shah K, Huseby R, Bhavsar J, Sgobba P, Zhang Y. (2020). Heart Rate Variability Biofeedback Improves Emotional and Physical Health and Performance: A Systematic Review and Meta Analysis.. Applied psychophysiology and biofeedback doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
A method makes sense once you can feel the moment it was made for.
Your body will mobilise whether you like it or not. What happens next is trainable, and that part is genuinely yours.
Anger is the most physical of the feelings. It goes straight into the muscles, so talking yourself out of it while your arms are already ready to move is hard work.
Instead of shutting your eyes, let your gaze go soft and wide: the sky, the far wall, the space above someone's shoulder. Keep them open and let the focus loosen.