Keep a line ready for the moment somebody tells you something you did not want to hear. Something like: I did not know that, I would have had to learn it sooner or later, and now I do.

People do not only defend their bodies. We defend our reputations, our ideas, our sense of what is fair, and the body handles those as though something with teeth were on its way.

A handful of old alarms account for most sudden anger: threat to life or limb, insult, harm coming near your family, someone in your space, rivalry over a partner, and being trapped.

Holding yourself in is effortful for everybody, every time. When it slips you have not uncovered a permanent fault in yourself.