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Areas › Your body › Grounding and settling
Before reaching for anything, work out which way you actually need to go. Racing, jaw tight, heart going: choose from the settling side. Foggy, heavy, far away: choose from the alerting side. Getting it the wrong way round is common, and it usually feels like the technique failed when really it was pointed in the wrong direction. Most people find two or three things that suit them and never need the whole list.
He has made mountains stand firm on the earth, to prevent it shaking under you, and rivers and paths so that you may find your way (Quran 16:15). Steadiness and knowing which way to move are given together, which is exactly what choosing the right sensory direction is for.
النحل
وَأَلۡقَىٰ فِي ٱلۡأَرۡضِ رَوَٰسِيَ أَن تَمِيدَ بِكُمۡ وَأَنۡهَٰرࣰ ا وَسُبُلࣰ ا لَّعَلَّكُمۡ تَهۡتَدُونَ
He has made mountains stand firm on the earth, to prevent it shaking under you, and rivers and paths so that you may find your way
Qur’an 16:15read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
A network meta-analysis of randomised trials of physical relaxation for work stress in healthcare staff found that yoga, massage, progressive muscle relaxation and stretching all helped, with no one method clearly ahead of the others. For a menu like this, that is useful: the choice between reasonable options seems to matter less than picking one and using it. It was carried out in a single occupational group, so treat it as encouragement rather than proof for every setting.
Zhang M, Murphy B, Cabanilla A, Yidi C. (2021). Physical relaxation for occupational stress in healthcare workers: A systematic review and network meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials.. Journal of occupational health doi
Strength of evidence: long taught, never tested. Widely used and long taught. No trial has established that it works.
The senses reach the body faster than reasoning does, so they can shift your state when talking yourself round is not working.
If your state does not shift with any of this, or it keeps swinging hard between the two, that is worth taking to a professional rather than working at alone.
On a video call, two things still work well: touching your own face gently, and rocking. Both are yours to do, and both are visible enough to be done together.
Steady pressure suits both directions. A weighted blanket, a firm squeeze of your own hands, lotion rubbed in with real pressure, bare feet pressed into the floor.
After you have tried something to settle, check: how here do you feel now, compared with before? Do not assume it worked just because it usually does.