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Areas › Your body › Your nervous system
On a stringed instrument the big pegs get you near the note and the small tuners at the other end find the exact pitch, and the difference is audible. Saying you are fine now is often peg level. Look a bit closer and you may find your jaw is still set, or you are talking faster than usual, or you have not really unclenched since the phone call. Those small things are worth attending to rather than waving away.
The Qur'an addresses 'you, soul at peace' (Quran 89:27). There is a name for the fully settled state, which suggests it is worth telling apart from merely not being in a storm.
الفجر
يَٰٓأَيَّتُهَا ٱلنَّفۡسُ ٱلۡمُطۡمَئِنَّةُ
‘[But] you, soul at peace
Qur’an 89:27read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
A systematic review of interoception, meaning how people perceive their internal bodily state, alongside vagal tone found that both relate to how well someone regulates emotion. The review also notes the two have usually been studied separately, so how they work together is unsettled. It supports paying attention to fine bodily detail without promising that noticing more is always better.
Pinna T, Edwards DJ. (2020). A Systematic Review of Associations Between Interoception, Vagal Tone, and Emotional Regulation: Potential Applications for Mental Health, Wellbeing, Psychological Flexibility, and Chronic Conditions.. Frontiers in psychology doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Noticing the finer changes gives you something to work with while it is still small.
When you cannot settle yourself, borrow somebody else's steadiness. Sitting near a calm person, even without talking, is a real thing to try.
Practise this when you are calm and again when you are wound up. The second one is what makes it available in the moment you need it.
A child at the nursery door who charms you, then rages, then crumples is running through the whole repertoire in ninety seconds. Nothing has gone wrong yet.