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Areas › Your body › Touch and bodywork
It can be someone you love, someone who loved you, a teacher from years ago, or an animal. The point is not the memory but the feeling of being looked at without being assessed. If nobody comes to mind, notice that gently rather than pushing through it, and remember that a warm imagined presence is allowed to be invented.
'I showered you with My love and planned that you should be reared under My watchful eye' (Quran 20:39). Musa is carried down a river and watched over the whole way, and that is the kind of gaze this practice is trying to remember.
طه
أَنِ ٱقۡذِفِيهِ فِي ٱلتَّابُوتِ فَٱقۡذِفِيهِ فِي ٱلۡيَمِّ فَلۡيُلۡقِهِ ٱلۡيَمُّ بِٱلسَّاحِلِ يَأۡخُذۡهُ عَدُوࣱّ لِّي وَعَدُوࣱّ لَّهُۥۚ وَأَلۡقَيۡتُ عَلَيۡكَ مَحَبَّةࣰ مِّنِّي وَلِتُصۡنَعَ عَلَىٰ عَيۡنِيٓ
“Put your child into the chest, then place him in the river. Let the river wash him on to its bank, and he will be taken in by an enemy of Mine and his.” I showered you with My love and planned that you should be reared under My watchful eye
Qur’an 20:39read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
A theoretical model and research review of affectionate touch argues that most of its benefit comes from what it signals: that someone close is safe and available if needed. The review is about real touch between real people, so an imagined face is a step beyond what the evidence covers. It does suggest the working ingredient is the sense of being held in someone's care rather than the pressure on skin.
Jakubiak, B.; Feeney, B. (2016). Affectionate Touch to Promote Relational, Psychological, and Physical Well-Being in Adulthood: A Theoretical Model and Review of the Research. Personality and Social Psychology Review doi
Review of affectionate touch effects.
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Your body answers a kind face in your mind much as it answers one in the room.
There is a route the calming nerve takes through you: eyes, then jaw and mouth, then throat and neck, then shoulders and chest, then belly. You can visit each stop in turn and simply notice what is there.
Tapping pairs light contact on acupressure points with saying the trouble out loud. The claims made for it run ahead of the evidence, and it is cheap, quick and safe enough to try.
Rest both hands on your chest, feel it lift and fall, and let the breath go low enough that your belly moves too. If someone you love turns up in your mind while you do it, let them stay.