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Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.
When somebody manages a partner through anger, it is worth asking what the control is guarding. Very often the answer is a fear of being left.
Telling someone that nobody else would have them is that fear turned into a weapon, and it usually arrives when the person feels furthest away.…
A new response cannot be laid on top of a cycle that is still turning. Break the circle first, even clumsily, and the room for something else appears.
Interrupting looks small and slightly silly: standing up, walking to another room, going quiet mid sentence, putting the phone face down.…
Once it starts rolling, it gathers. A small exchange becomes a shouting match becomes something with consequences, and every step feels reasonable given the one before.
The cheapest place to stop is early, at the first sharp reply, long before you can see how far it has gone. Naming it out loud helps: "we are…
While the feeling is at full volume, no argument gets through, including a good one of your own. Settle the body first and talk afterwards.
Reasoning with someone at their peak, or with yourself, nearly always adds heat rather than sense. The order that works is calm, then conversation:…
Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.
Anger works by sorting the world into me and not me. Once someone has landed on the wrong side of that line, everything they do starts reading as evidence.
You can feel the sorting happen if you watch for it. Their tone becomes proof, their silence becomes proof, the way they load the dishwasher becomes…