Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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31 practices

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For some people the online part is not a side issue sitting next to the depression or the anxiety. It is one of the things holding them in place.

One young woman with a history of being bullied found her platform use feeding the depression, the social anxiety, the fear of leaving the house and…

LongerScreens and attentionCoreQur’an 102:1One line of research

The alarm stores as well as reacts. Every flare that ends badly teaches it a little, and so does every one you handle gently.

That is why triggers pile up over a lifetime, and why one calm response never feels like it changed anything. It is doing work you cannot see yet.…

LongerThe moment before you snapCoreQur’an 41:34One line of research

A child's reputation is made in the classroom, mostly out of adult earshot, and it follows them from one year to the next. Teachers who work on how the class treats the child, and not only on the child, can move it.

The version that has been trialled has the teacher doing small deliberate things: pairing children with some thought, noticing this child out loud…

LongerTreatment and medicationCoreQur’an 24:61One line of research

Anger moves from person to person in a house, and so does steadiness. Working on your own reactions was never a private project.

You are one of the conditions everyone around you is responding to. When your fuse lengthens, the number of moments that turn into an incident drops…

LongerWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 59:10One line of research

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

Get the shouting and the slammed doors down first. The deeper questions about where all this came from will keep, and they are hard to think about while incidents are still happening weekly.

Starting at the practical end can feel shallow. It is really a sequence. Containment buys the quiet that anything slower needs, and plain measures…

LongerWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 7:154One line of research

The energy behind your anger is not waste. People who feel strongly about what is wrong are often the ones who end up changing something.

This matters because going flat is not a goal many people will accept, and they are right not to. Ask what your anger keeps insisting on, then find a…

LongerWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 42:39One line of research

The years you spent angry are not written off. The drive that wrecked things is the same drive available now for putting things right.

This is not a way of saying the damage was worth it. It is about what is still in your hands. People who have hurt others through their temper often…

LongerWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 42:40One line of research

At the start the anger drives and you are in the passenger seat. With practice you get to take the wheel, though the engine stays the same engine.

Nobody makes that move in one go. It tends to arrive in stages: first you only see it afterwards, then you catch it as it happens, then you catch it…

LongerWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 12:53One line of research

Expect the fear underneath to be denied, and do not push against the denial. This idea has to be worked in gently rather than argued in.

Coming at somebody head on with what they are defending sets off exactly the threat response you were hoping to treat. Small, low pressure versions…

LongerWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 68:48One line of research

You will not get the honest version in one go. Ask, let it be refused, carry on with something else, then come back to it later in the same conversation.

A defended story does not collapse, it wears down. Each pass takes a little off it, and the person needs the gaps in between to do the actual…

LongerWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 15:47One line of research

Understanding an idea is not the same as being changed by it. The explaining is soil preparation, and the crop comes later.

Somebody can follow the whole argument about respect and self-acceptance, agree warmly with all of it, and lose their temper the same way that…

LongerWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 22:46One line of research