Practices

Anger turned inwards covers two very different things. One is turning on yourself, the other is suffering where somebody can see it so that they feel the weight of it.

Both get the same name and they need opposite handling. Someone attacking themselves needs the attack softened. Someone using visible unhappiness to…

Anger feels righteous while it lasts. The useful moment comes later, when the regret shows up and the story has gone quiet.

Nobody changes course mid-shout, and pressing then only adds fuel. Hours or a day afterwards there is usually a stretch where a person is…

Live under enough strain for long enough and anger stops being an event. It settles into a new normal, and it can feel as though your character has changed.

Ask what has been running in the background: money, pain, night shifts, a job that grinds, somebody ill at home. When those ease the baseline often…

Get the shouting and the slammed doors down first. The deeper questions about where all this came from will keep, and they are hard to think about while incidents are still happening weekly.

Starting at the practical end can feel shallow. It is really a sequence. Containment buys the quiet that anything slower needs, and plain measures…