Areas › Anger
Anger
Almost nobody wants to be the person who says the thing they cannot take back. The window between the surge and the words is short and it can be widened. That is most of what this area is about, along with the fear or hurt that anger is usually protecting.
What works for this
Anger control, with distress tolerance
Anger has a runway, and the earlier you step onto it the less force you need. The work is in the seconds before, not in the explosion, and it starts with the body rather than the thought.
One move, today
Name the first physical sign you get. Jaw, chest, hands, heat in the face. That sign is your only warning, and noticing it is the whole skill.
What matches
2 practicesAutomatic is not the enemy. An out of date automatic is. The aim is to practise the calmer response until it runs on its own, the way the old one already does.
At the start it feels artificial, and it should. You are choosing deliberately what the other response does for free. Give it enough repetitions and…
People who train regularly seem to be set off less easily, not because they care less but because a fitter body reads fewer situations as emergencies.
This one works on the scale of weeks, so it belongs in the ordinary part of your life rather than in the middle of a flare. Two or three sessions a…