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AreasWorry and anxiety

Worry and anxiety

Anxiety is not a character flaw and it is not weak faith. It is a body doing what it was built to do, at a moment when it is not needed. The practices here work on the loop itself: what worry promises and never delivers, what avoiding costs you, and how to let the body come down.

What works for this

Cognitive behavioural therapy

The treatment with the largest trial base for anxiety works on what you do about worry rather than on what you worry about. Catching it, postponing it, and testing a prediction instead of arguing with it.

One move, today

Pick one worry you had today. Write the exact thing you feared would happen, then write what actually happened. You are collecting evidence, not arguing.

What matches

6 practices

Narrow these down

When someone with attention difficulties loses the structure around them, the difficulty shows in full. Nothing has got worse in them; the scaffolding that carried part of it has gone.

Bells, a timetable, a teacher at the front, other people visibly working: all of that was taking some of the load. At home the load falls on whoever…

Twenty minutesThe cost of avoidingCBTQur’an 2:45One line of research

If the urge to arrange has to go somewhere, point it at something that can actually be finished. A kitchen drawer ends. A desk you keep re-sorting never does.

The ending is the part that matters. Finishing leaves you with something real to have done, which competes with the small relief that compulsive…

Twenty minutesObsessions and compulsionsCBTQur’an 7:31One line of research

When something feels unbearable to risk, follow it downwards. If that did happen, what would it mean, and what would happen after that?

Keep asking gently, and stop when you reach something that is a statement about the person rather than about the situation, such as it would prove I…

Twenty minutesLiving with uncertaintyCBTQur’an 18:78One line of research

Once the surge is up it takes something like a quarter of an hour to drop, and nothing sensible said inside that window will land. Give it the time first.

This is the point where a parent, a partner or a friend reaches for reasons, and the reasons make it worse. Keep your words few, stay nearby, offer…

Twenty minutesWhat worry doesCBTQur’an 13:28One line of research

Pulling away from people sits upstream of a good deal: low mood, social fear, and the slow shrinking of where someone is willing to go. Whatever the eventual label, getting a person back into contact is rarely wasted work.

You do not need the diagnosis settled before you start. One regular arrangement with one person, at a fixed time, somewhere easy to reach, does work…

Twenty minutesWhat worry doesCBTQur’an 2:186One line of research

Sometimes there really is evidence for the fear. Say so. The balance comes from the other column being fuller, not from pretending the first column is empty.

Children are being bullied, are laughed at, do get things wrong in front of everyone. If you wave that away, they learn the exercise is fixed and…

Twenty minutesBreaking the worry loopCBTQur’an 53:28One line of research

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