Areas › Focus, starting, and ADHD
Focus, starting, and ADHD
Most advice about focus is written for a brain that starts easily. This area is not. It covers what ADHD actually is, how to make a start when starting is the hard part, how to bring a future consequence close enough to feel, and how to stop paying for it in shame.
What works for this
Implementation intentions
Putting things off is mood repair rather than laziness: delay removes the bad feeling straight away and the cost lands later. So the move is not more willpower, it is a plan specific enough to run without a decision.
One move, today
Write one sentence: when it is [time] and I am at [place], I will [the first small action]. Naming when and where is the part the evidence supports.
What matches
7 practicesAsk everybody, at the start, what they use and how it goes for them there. Not only the ones who arrive with an obvious phone problem.
Two questions do most of the work: which platforms are you on, and what is it like for you on them. Asked early, without any warning tone, it makes…
You are already off your phone somewhere. In lessons, at work, in the pool, driving. That is worth more than it sounds.
It quietly disproves the sentence people say most often about this, that they can never put it down. They already do, most days, for hours at a time.…
For one week note three things each time: how you felt before you opened it, how it felt while you were in it, and how you feel twenty minutes after putting it down.
Most people find the before and the after are not the same, and that the middle was better than either. Usually one or two apps come out fine and one…
Sometimes the scrolling is not really about the scrolling. It is about the coursework, or the conversation, or the thing you have not let yourself think about since March.
You can usually tell by what happens when the phone goes. If the hours quietly move into something else equally absorbing and equally pointless, the…
Nobody is asking you to want less of a lift. The ask is to take some of it from somewhere that does not leave you flat afterwards.
Put that way most people will engage, because it is not a demand to become a calmer sort of person. Cold water, music that actually moves you,…
A young person on the sofa with their phone looks like nothing is happening. From the inside it is often the first hour all day that has asked nothing of them.
Both readings are true, and the argument is usually about which one gets said out loud. Naming the second one to a parent takes a surprising amount…
Before a phone gets taken away, it is worth asking what else goes with it. For a lot of young people the group chat is where their friendships actually live, and losing it leaves them alone at the moment they most need someone.
This is not an argument against limits. It is an argument for knowing what you are cutting. If the same device carries the friendships, the homework…