Areas › Grief and loss

Grief and loss

Grief is not a problem to be solved and it does not run to a schedule. What helps is letting the wave come, keeping the bond rather than severing it, and being cared for while you carry it.

What works for this

Continuing bonds and the dual process model

There are no stages and you are not behind. Grieving is moving back and forth between facing the loss and dealing with everything the loss changed, and the days you cannot face it are part of that movement rather than a failure of it.

One move, today

Let today be whichever of the two it wants to be. If it is a day for dealing with the practical things rather than the loss, that is the model working and not avoidance.

What matches

2 practices

Narrow these down

To someone in grief, a short gentle word beats advice or fixing. Say something kind, and mean it.

You do not need to solve their loss. A soft, sincere word lands better than any counsel.

A minuteHelp someone grievingGriefQur’an 2:263One line of research

With someone grieving, offer your presence more than your words. Sit with them; let silence be enough.

You do not need the right thing to say. Being there, quietly and again and again, is the help.

Five minutesHelp someone grievingGriefQur’an 90:17One line of research

Learn this in order

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