Lesson 3 of 6 · Your child has a status, and some of what you were sent is not sound
What is sound, and it is not less
Four things, all from the strongest material there is.
A Muslim whose children die before puberty is promised Paradise by Allah out of His mercy towards them. And there is a second report in which a woman sat in that audience, heard the number three, and said out loud that it did not describe her. She asked about two. The answer came back that two would screen her from the Fire as well. That is a woman interrupting to say the promise did not fit her, and being answered rather than corrected, and it is in Bukhari.
There is a report on one whose child dies and who resigns himself calmly to what Allah has decreed, and the chapter it sits under is titled for the merit of exactly that person.
And there is the instruction that the prayer is offered over a miscarried child, and that forgiveness and mercy are asked for its parents. Read the second half of that again. The tradition does not only account for your child. It names you, and what it asks for you is mercy rather than patience.
The sentence that goes with all of this is the one you say rather than the one that is said at you. Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we return. It belongs in your mouth. When somebody else uses it to close the conversation, that is a misuse of it, not a fault in you for finding it cold.
Qur’an and Sunnah
Loss named in the same breath as fear and hunger, with good news given to the steadfast. The Qur'an does not ask a bereaved parent to call the loss something other than a loss, and this is the passage the sentence below comes from.
وَلَنَبۡلُوَنَّكُم بِشَيۡءࣲ مِّنَ ٱلۡخَوۡفِ وَٱلۡجُوعِ وَنَقۡصࣲ مِّنَ ٱلۡأَمۡوَٰلِ وَٱلۡأَنفُسِ وَٱلثَّمَرَٰتِۗ وَبَشِّرِ ٱلصَّٰبِرِينَ
We shall certainly test you with fear and hunger, and loss of property, lives, and crops. But [Prophet], give good news to those who are steadfast
Qur’an 2:155
And here is the sentence itself. It belongs in your mouth, and when somebody else uses it to close the conversation that is a misuse of it, not a fault in you for finding it cold.
ٱلَّذِينَ إِذَآ أَصَٰبَتۡهُم مُّصِيبَةࣱ قَالُوٓاْ إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّآ إِلَيۡهِ رَٰجِعُونَ
those who say, when afflicted with a calamity, ‘We belong to God and to Him we shall return.’
Qur’an 2:156
What is said of the ones who say those words, and the three verses run together in the text.
أُوْلَٰٓئِكَ عَلَيۡهِمۡ صَلَوَٰتࣱ مِّن رَّبِّهِمۡ وَرَحۡمَةࣱۖ وَأُوْلَٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلۡمُهۡتَدُونَ
These will be given blessings and mercy from their Lord, and it is they who are rightly guided
Qur’an 2:157
The first of the four that come from the strongest material there is, and the promise in it is Paradise out of His mercy towards them.
Narrated Anas:The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A Muslim whose three children die before the age of puberty will be granted Paradise by Allah due to his mercy for them
Sahih al-Bukhari 1248graded sound, sahihaynthe Arabic and its grading
The second, and it is the one to read closely. A woman sat in that audience, heard the number three, said out loud that it did not describe her, and asked about two. The answer came back that two would screen her as well. She was answered rather than corrected.
Narrated Abu Sa`id:The women requested the Prophet, "Please fix a day for us." So the Prophet (ﷺ) preached to them and said, "A woman whose three children died would be screened from the Hell Fire by them," Hearing that, a woman asked, "If two died?" The Prophet (ﷺ) replied, "Even two (would screen her from the (Hell) Fire. " And Abu Huraira added, "Those children should be below the age of puberty
Sahih al-Bukhari 1249graded sound, sahihaynthe Arabic and its grading
The third. One whose children die and who resigns himself calmly to what Allah has decreed, and the chapter it sits under is titled for the merit of exactly that person.
Abu Huraira reported Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) as saying:Anyone amongst the Muslims, three of whose children die, and he resigns himself calmly to the will of God, Fire will not touch him but for the fulfilment of the oath
Sahih Muslim 2632graded sound, sahihaynthe Arabic and its grading
The fourth, and read its second half again. The prayer is offered over a miscarried child, and forgiveness and mercy are asked for its parents. The tradition names you, and what it asks for you is mercy rather than patience.
Narrated Al-Mughirah ibn Shu'bah: (I think that the people of Ziyad informed me that he reported on the authority of the Prophet (ﷺ): A rider should go behind the bier, and those on foot should walk behind it, in front of it, on its right and on its left keeping near it. Prayer should be offered over an abortion and forgiveness and mercy supplicated for its parents
Sunan Abi Dawud 3180graded sound, albanithe Arabic and its grading
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.