Lesson 4 of 6 · Small and repeated beats big and rare
What the tradition describes, and what the research licenses
Look at what the second half of the first report below actually describes. Not a feeling of community in general. A specific, repeatable gathering, in a set place, with a stated activity that carries the time. The shorter report underneath says the same thing in one sentence: no people sit in a gathering remembering Allah but the angels surround them, mercy covers them and tranquility descends upon them. That is a far easier thing for a lonely person to walk into than an instruction to make friends, because it names a place and an occasion rather than an outcome. And below those, the honest picture from the research about which levers move.
Qur’an and Sunnah
Look at what the second half of this describes. Not a feeling of community in general. A specific, repeatable gathering, in a set place, with a stated activity that carries the time.
Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying:He who alleviates the suffering of a brother out of the sufferings of the world, Allah would alleviate his suffering from the sufferings of the Day of Resurrection, and he who finds relief for one who is hard-pressed, Allah would make things easy for him in the Hereafter, and he who conceals (the faults) of a Muslim, Allah would conceal his faults in the world and in the Hereafter. Allah is at the back of a servant so long as the servant is at the back of his brother, and he who treads the path in search of knowledge, Allah would make that path easy, leading to Paradise for him and those persons who assemble in the house among the houses of Allah (mosques) and recite the Book of Allah and they learn and teach the Qur'an (among themselves) there would descend upon them tranquility and mercy would cover them and the angels would surround them and Allah mentions them in the presence of those near Him, and he who is slow-paced in doing good deeds, his (high) lineage does not make him go ahead
Sahih Muslim 2699graded sound, sahihaynthe Arabic and its grading
The same thing in one sentence, and it is far easier for a lonely person to walk into than an instruction to make friends, because it names a place and an occasion rather than an outcome.
It was narrated that Abu Hurairah and Abu Sa'eed bore witness that the Prophet(ﷺ) said:"No people sit in a gathering remembering Allah, But the angels surround them, mercy covers them, tranquility descends upon them and Allah remembers them before those who are with Him
Sunan Ibn Majah 3791graded sound, albanithe Arabic and its grading
What the research says
Loneliness programmes sort into four kinds: teaching social skills, adding support, creating chances to meet people, and working on how you read social situations. The fourth did best, which is why this course spends its time there rather than on getting you out more.
The authors sorted loneliness programmes into four kinds: teaching social skills, adding social support, creating more chances to meet people, and working on how a person reads social situations. Across the trials with a comparison group, the last of those did best and simply creating chances to meet people was the weaker lever. The authors also note that effects looked much larger in studies with no comparison group than in the randomised ones.
Masi CM, Chen HY, Hawkley LC, Cacioppo JT (2011). A meta-analysis of interventions to reduce loneliness. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 15(3), 219 to 266 doi
A newer pooling of psychological approaches to loneliness found a moderate average reduction. The authors flag that trial quality varied a great deal and loneliness was often measured crudely, so read it as genuinely promising rather than settled.
A newer pooling of psychological approaches to loneliness, finding a moderate reduction on average. The authors flag that the trials varied a great deal in quality and that loneliness was often measured as a side outcome rather than as the thing the trial set out to change.
Hickin N, Kall A, Shafran R, Sutcliffe S, Manzotti G, Langan D (2021). The effectiveness of psychological interventions for loneliness: a systematic review and meta-analysis. Clinical Psychology Review, 88, 102066 doi