Lesson 6 of 6 · Where a course stops and a clinician starts
If one thing stays with you
Let it be this.
There is no prayer debt from nifas, forty days is a ceiling and not a sentence, and the concession was a ruling given for you rather than a punishment given to you.
All three of those have a text behind them, and they are below. The instruction about a concession is in the imperative: take to the concession which Allah has granted you, accept it.
The thoughts that horrify you are common, and the horror is the telling detail. The silence around them is what keeps this going, and one true sentence to one person cuts it.
And the Qur'an calls carrying and bearing a child hardship, twice, in one clause. Saying that this is hard is not ingratitude. It is the vocabulary you were given.
Qur’an and Sunnah
The Qur'an calls carrying and bearing a child hardship, twice, in one clause. Saying that this is hard is not ingratitude. It is the vocabulary you were given.
وَوَصَّيۡنَا ٱلۡإِنسَٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيۡهِ إِحۡسَٰنًاۖ حَمَلَتۡهُ أُمُّهُۥ كُرۡهࣰ ا وَوَضَعَتۡهُ كُرۡهࣰ اۖ وَحَمۡلُهُۥ وَفِصَٰلُهُۥ ثَلَٰثُونَ شَهۡرًاۚ حَتَّىٰٓ إِذَا بَلَغَ أَشُدَّهُۥ وَبَلَغَ أَرۡبَعِينَ سَنَةࣰ قَالَ رَبِّ أَوۡزِعۡنِيٓ أَنۡ أَشۡكُرَ نِعۡمَتَكَ ٱلَّتِيٓ أَنۡعَمۡتَ عَلَيَّ وَعَلَىٰ وَٰلِدَيَّ وَأَنۡ أَعۡمَلَ صَٰلِحࣰ ا تَرۡضَىٰهُ وَأَصۡلِحۡ لِي فِي ذُرِّيَّتِيٓۖ إِنِّي تُبۡتُ إِلَيۡكَ وَإِنِّي مِنَ ٱلۡمُسۡلِمِينَ
We have commanded man to be good to his parents: his mother struggled to carry him and struggled to give birth to him- his bearing and weaning took a full thirty months. When he has grown to manhood and reached the age of forty he [may] say, ‘Lord, help me to be truly grateful for Your favours to me and to my parents; help me to do good work that pleases You; make my offspring good. I turn to You; I am one of those who devote themselves to You.’
Qur’an 46:15
His mother carried him, weakness upon weakness. That is the second place the Qur'an says it, and between them the vocabulary is the Book's own rather than a complaint you invented.
وَوَصَّيۡنَا ٱلۡإِنسَٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيۡهِ حَمَلَتۡهُ أُمُّهُۥ وَهۡنًا عَلَىٰ وَهۡنࣲ وَفِصَٰلُهُۥ فِي عَامَيۡنِ أَنِ ٱشۡكُرۡ لِي وَلِوَٰلِدَيۡكَ إِلَيَّ ٱلۡمَصِيرُ
We have commanded people to be good to their parents: their mothers carried them, with strain upon strain, and it takes two years to wean them. Give thanks to Me and to your parents- all will return to Me
Qur’an 31:14
The instruction about a concession is in the imperative. Take to the concession which Allah has granted you, accept it.
It was narrated from Jabir bin 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah said:"It is not righteousness to fast when traveling. Take to the concession which Allah, the mighty and sublime, has granted you, accept it
Sunan an-Nasa'i 2260graded sound, albanithe Arabic and its grading
And the text behind forty days being a ceiling and not a sentence. It reports what the women refrained for, not what they were commanded.
Umm Salamah narrated:"The time of waiting for Nifas during the time of AIlah's Messenger was forty days. We used to cover our faces with reddish-brown Wars
Jami' at-Tirmidhi 139graded sound, albanithe Arabic and its grading
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.