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Areas › Focus, starting, and ADHD › Screens and attention
The choosing is part of why any of it works. A limit handed down gets tested and beaten, while one somebody picked themselves tends to survive a bad week. So put four options on the table and let the person take two. It gives you something better to review together later as well: not whether they behaved, but which of their own tools turned out to be worth keeping.
Not too loud in your prayer, nor too quiet, but seek a middle way (Quran 17:110). The middle way is something you aim at rather than a fixed measure handed to you, which suits a menu better than a rule.
الإسراء
قُلِ ٱدۡعُواْ ٱللَّهَ أَوِ ٱدۡعُواْ ٱلرَّحۡمَٰنَۖ أَيࣰّ ا مَّا تَدۡعُواْ فَلَهُ ٱلۡأَسۡمَآءُ ٱلۡحُسۡنَىٰۚ وَلَا تَجۡهَرۡ بِصَلَاتِكَ وَلَا تُخَافِتۡ بِهَا وَٱبۡتَغِ بَيۡنَ ذَٰلِكَ سَبِيلࣰ ا
Say [to them], ‘Call on God, or on the Lord of Mercy- whatever names you call Him, the best names belong to Him.’ [Prophet], do not be too loud in your prayer, or too quiet, but seek a middle way
Qur’an 17:110read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
Researchers have had to build dedicated measures in this area. One validation study in 910 undergraduates developed a scale for sleep procrastination caused specifically by in-bed phone use, separating it from bedtime procrastination in general. That work sits behind the idea of a formal screen use assessment rather than testing any of the tools listed here. None of these options has a trial behind it, so offer them as things to try instead of as recommended practice.
Tu Z, He J, Wang Z, Wang C, Tian J, Tang Y. (2023). Development and validation of the while-in-bed-smartphone-use-induced sleep procrastination scale (WSPS) in Chinese undergraduates with/without problematic smartphone use.. Quality of life research : an international journal of quality of life aspects of treatment, care and rehabilitation doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
People stick to arrangements they chose and quietly dismantle the ones chosen for them.
For a child who finds face to face conversation frightening, a game where they talk to friends while doing something else may be the only place they socialise at all. Worth noticing before you count the hours.
Pick one series and watch it together on the same evening each week. The point is not the programme. It is that something puts the two of you in the same room on purpose.
More hours on social media goes with more anxiety and low mood. That is a reason to aim at fewer hours, a conversation you can actually have, rather than at none, which usually ends the conversation.