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Areas › Worry and anxiety › Breaking the worry loop
It is worth asking someone you trust, plainly, how often they worry about things and for how long. The answer is often surprising. Discovering that a mind can be quiet for stretches of the day is usually the moment people start treating this as something that can change rather than as a fixed feature of their character.
truly it is in the remembrance of God that hearts find peace (Quran 13:28). Peace is described as available, which means the churning is not simply your nature.
الرعد
ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ وَتَطۡمَئِنُّ قُلُوبُهُم بِذِكۡرِ ٱللَّهِۗ أَلَا بِذِكۡرِ ٱللَّهِ تَطۡمَئِنُّ ٱلۡقُلُوبُ
those who have faith and whose hearts find peace in the remembrance of God- truly it is in the remembrance of God that hearts find peace
Qur’an 13:28read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
A systematic review found that adults who experienced adversity in childhood report more worry and rumination than others. The loop often has a long history behind it, which is part of why it feels like a personal trait rather than something that started. Reviews of this kind show associations across groups, so they explain the pattern without saying anything certain about any one person.
Mansueto G, Cavallo C, Palmieri S, Ruggiero GM, Sassaroli S, Caselli G. (2021). Adverse childhood experiences and repetitive negative thinking in adulthood: A systematic review.. Clinical psychology & psychotherapy doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Without anything to compare it against, a lifelong pattern reads as personality rather than as something treatable.
A great many people worry silently and look perfectly calm doing it. Families are often astonished to find out how much has been going on.
Do not tell a child their thinking is wrong, and do not hand them the better thought. Ask the questions and let them arrive at it themselves.
Short sessions spread over days beat one long night. The settling of what you learned happens after you stop, and a short night undoes a good deal of the day's work.